Episode 2.04 transcript - “Inmate #143”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Windfall is intended for a mature audiences, see our show notes for more information. Listener discretion is advised.

[MUSIC: Windfall Theme starts]

[SFX: A guard strides confidently down a long hall, his heavy boot steps are punctuated by the clanging of his nightstick on metal prison bars.]

JOHNSON: Wake up you freaks, time to rise and shine!

[SFX: Prisoners  begin to stir with a cacophony of groans, hacking coughs and miserable muttering.]

JOHNSON: I misspoke, I meant to say "time to rise and shut the fuck up!"

[SFX: Johnson bumps into a fellow guard, they stand in front of a corner cell at the junction of their respective hallways.]

HILL: Another dead one over here. Must've died in the night.

[SFX: Hill turns a skeleton key in the lock to the corner cell.]

HILL: Had a feeling he wasn't gonna make it. Lost too much weight.

JOHNSON: He's been useless for weeks. If these squids can't work then they're nothing but a drain on resources. Just another mouth to feed.

HILL: I mean, we're barely feeding them as is-

JOHNSON: I'm gonna stop you right there, I don't give a fuck-

[SFX: Johnson kicks the crumpled body of the dead inmate.]

JOHNSON: You, get over there and take care of the body.

TUCK: Yessir.

JOHNSON: (shudders) Disgusting.

[SFX: Johnson continues on his rounds, stopping in front of the neighboring cell to bang excessively with his nightstick.]

JOHNSON: (sing-songy) Wake the fuck up you squid fucks!

[SFX: Inmate #143 wakes with a groan, and then a growl in the direction of the continuing din from Johnson.]

JOHNSON: You got something you'd like to say, big boy?

[SFX: Silence, then the mocking laughter of Johnson.]

JOHNSON: That's what I thought.

[SFX: Johnson continues down the hallway banging on doors. he sounds further away at this point.]

TUCK: (weak) Please... I can't take any more of this.

JOHNSON: (suddenly concerned)Would it help if I let you take a day off to rest?

TUCK: (hopeful) Praise Wanda, yes.

JOHNSON: Did you see that? Did you see his face? He actually thought I was gonna let him have the day off. (guffawing) No days off on my watch, Squiddy. Now get off your dumb blue ass before I kick you so hard my boot comes out your mouth.

[SFX: Tuck moans as they get into gear. gradually the sound fades somewhat and we are left with a heavy sigh from inmate #143. inmate #143 yawns, he pisses into a bucket and dresses. a loud buzzer sounds as all the doors of the cell block swing open simultaneously. #143 steps to the doorway and stands patiently, around him the men in the other cells do the same.]

JOHNSON: STEP FORWARD! NECK DOWN!

[SFX: Guards move from prisoner to prisoner shackling them by their necks with a resounding clack.]

JOHNSON: MOVE!

[SFX: The men begin to shuffle out of their cells, down the hallway and out into the blinding hot day, some of the men groan.]

OZ: (whispering to #143) It's so hot...

HILL: No talking!

[SFX: Human guards and proximan inmates continue to walk across a compacted dirt road. an inmate begins to stumble, argus catches him by the shirt before he falls all the way down.]

ARGUS: (firm but gentle) Here, I've got ya. You're all right.

JOHNSON: What the ever-living fuck is going on back there?!

OZ: I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I just, I don't know what happened-

ARGUS: Everything's fine.

JOHNSON: Good. Now let's go, there's a lot of work to do today.

PRISONERS: (more groans)

[SFX: The inmates all straighten up and continue shuffling along. they finally come to a halt.]

HILL: Alright boys, you know what to do, no funny business.

JOHNSON: Get to work.

HILL: Let's put a little pep in that step you tentacled freaks.

[SFX: The inmates grab the pick-axes and shovels and move into formation. The air is suddenly filled with the rhythmic smashing of pickaxes on stones and glass, the scraping of shovels as the detritus is scooped onto a cart, the clinking of the men's chains, and the grunts of hard labor. there's a startled yelp from a young inmate nearby.]

HILL: What's the matter? …Eugh...I thought we had unearthed the last of the bodies at this point.

[SFX: The young inmate lets out a few loud gasps of air.]

HILL: Just start on that section over there. #143! Can you...?

ARGUS: I've got it.

[SFX: We move over to the dead body and begin to scoop it up onto the debris cart.]

HILL: Thank you.

[SFX: We fall back into the sounds of the workcamp, as they continue to clear the wreckage of the east tower.]

[SFX: Timms and Tin man walk down the hallway slowly before coming to Wanda's door. He knocks on it and waits a moment. there is no answer.]

TIN MAN: Wanda June! It's time to record today's message… Listen, I know you're getting tired of these, but I promise that they're for the greater good of Windfall City… In fact, if you stopped fighting so hard against the Admiral, you'd realize she is really quite an incredible woman. You could learn a lot from her.

TIMMS: (exasperated) Christ, would you just open the door already?

[SFX: Tin Man tries to open the door but it is locked.]

TIN MAN: C'mon, dear. I know you're cross with me, but I do have a key code and I'm only waiting as a courtesy to you...

TIMMS: (raising her voice) Open the door BT9!

[SFX: Timms pushes past tin man and presses a few buttons on a keypad the door flings open. They step into the room.]

TIN MAN: (incredulous) Wanda June? Where've you gone now?

TIMMS: (calm) Okay...I assume this is some sort of practical joke, yes? The two of you are playing one of your games again?

TIN MAN: I'm afraid not, Admiral.

[SFX: Timms takes a series of deep breaths in through her nose before taking out a communicator.]

TIMMS: (barking) WANDA'S MISSING, I REPEAT, WANDA IS MISSING. LOCK THE WHOLE FUCKING CAS: TLE DOWN, AND TEAR IT APART.

TIN MAN: I'm sure she's just off to the kitchens for a snack. Whenever Bimble hasn't brought her something she likes, she'll run to Chef to demand her meal be remade.

TIMMS: (into her communicator) AND FIND BIMBLE, I WANT HER DETAINED IMMEDIATELY.

TIN MAN: I'm sure this is all a misunderstanding. Is all of this really necessary?

TIMMS: You're damn right it's necessary. I swear, we wouldn't be in this position if she'd had an armed guard from day one like I wanted.

TIN MAN: I told you this was going to be a delicate transition for her and it would behoove us to-

TIMMS: -Why'd I go against my better judgement and trust your opinion on this? You have been the face of one disastrous fuck up after another, and frankly, that's on me, this is my fault- I should have known better-

TIN MAN: I'm not quite sure that is the fairest assessment of our current situation-

TIMMS: (scarily calm) Go wait in my office BT9.

TIN MAN: But Admiral, shouldn't I help look for Wanda?

TIMMS: BT9 I have just given you a direct order.

TIN MAN: (stiffly) Very good.

[SFX: Tin Man walks away as Timms stays behind. Booted steps march towards her from the opposite end of the hall.]

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: Admiral.

TIMMS: What?

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: It's the prisoner, ma'am.

TIMMS: (annoyed) I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific than that. There are many prisoners.

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: It's Captain Root.

TIMMS: What about him?

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: He's gone as well.

TIMMS: (laughs a little crazily) Yes. That tracks.

[SFX: Before human soldier #2 can continue their report,Ttimms lets lets out a frustrated yell and punches the wall. she then straightens up.]

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: (nervously) Admiral?

TIMMS: Put a set of eyes on the BT9 unit in my office as well. I want him watched at all times from now on, understood?

HUMAN SOLDIER #2: Understood.

[SFX: Timms walks away as ominous music takes us out of the scene.]

[SFX: The clanking of the chains and shuffling of feet as the prisoners file into the cafeteria. They line up as guards move up and down the line detaching them from each other.]

JOHNSON: ALRIGHT YOU LAZY BLUE FUCKWADS, YOU'VE GOT 30 MINUTES FOR LUNCH, AND TO PISS, SHIT, OR WHATEVER YOU'VE GOT TO DO INTO THE LATRINE BUCKETS. Additionally, at this point you'd think I wouldn't have to remind you, but, following yesterday's unfortunate incident, apparently, it bears repeating. You're unshackled from each other within the confines of the mess-hall as a privilege, HOWEVER, we're still guarding the doors. Please don't make me shoot down any more of you dumb motherfuckers in another half-assed escape attempt because it's frankly, a waste of time- nobody's getting out of here- YOU NOW HAVE 29 MINUTES LEFT.

PRISONERS: (grumbling)

[SFX: A cafeteria line, plates slide along a metal rail, disgusting food is plopped onto them. Inmate #143 shuffles to a table, sits down and begins to shovel the food into his face with periodic gags. a chair scrapes the floor as it's pulled out and someone sits down heavily.]

ISAAC: Hey kid.

ARGUS: Isaac!?

ISAAC: The one and only.

ARGUS: (choked up)I thought-I thought you were dead! We all did!

ISAAC: (chuckling) Yeah, me too. For a minute there.

[SFX: The two men embrace fiercely. argus stifles a sob, isaac pats him on the back reassuringly.]

ISAAC: Hey, hey, it's fine, I'm alive.

ARGUS: (in wonderment) You're alive.

ISAAC: I missed you. Wanda- look at your arms!

ARGUS: You too can have guns like these, all you need is eighteen hours a day of hard, manual labor… Where have you been? What did they do with you?

ISAAC: Well, after my grand plan to take on four guards failed, I found myself tossed into a small room with a few troublemakers from the other camps. Most in worse shape than I was.

ARGUS: I don't know if that's possible, I watched them drag you out. Every part of you looked broken...

ISAAC: Sadly it was. They kept us in there for days, tossed us the occasional scrap of kitchen waste. Some didn't make it out. The smell was...

ARGUS: (horrified) Wanda...

ISAAC: By the time they let me leave, this eye was beyond repair, lost a couple of toes too- to the rot. They cleaned me up as best they could, and then put me to work digging mass graves.

ARGUS: I'm so sorry.

ISAAC: (trying to lighten the mood). On the bright side, the whole experience made me actually relieved to be back here... which is... twisted to say the least.

[SFX: Isaac jabs a fork into Argus’ food and eats.]

ISAAC: (chewing) I mean- this even tastes good to me. If that's not a miracle then I don't know what is… Kid, come on, it's okay-

ARGUS: (struggling to keep a level voice) No. It's not okay. Look what they did to you- look what they're doing to all of us. We're shitting in buckets, digging out the corpses of our own people from the wreckage they caused, to build Wanda knows what for them. These people are monsters.

HILL: Everything okay over here?

ISAAC: Sure thing boss, just catching up.

HILL: Alright, just take it down a notch.

ISAAC: Of course, of course.

[SFX: Hill walks away.]

ISAAC: Take it easy- you're gonna get yourself taken away-

ARGUS: Listen, I am gonna get you outta here. I'm gonna get us all out.

ISAAC: (trying to ease the tension with a fake laugh) I just got here, give me a minute to relax, would ya?

ARGUS: (speaking low and rushed) There's a group of us- we've been watching the guards, figuring out their schedule- it'll have to be during mess because it's the only place we can move freely. Tomorrow-

ISAAC: Argus, please, stop- don't tell me anymore, and please, rethink this. You cannot win against these people. I almost died trying-

ARGUS: I can protect you-

ISAAC: -No. You can't. None of us are safe. The best thing to do right now is just lay low, play nice and wait this out-

ARGUS: People are depending on me, I can't let them down, they...look up to me-

ISAAC: Of course they do. You're a good man, Argus. You look so much more like your father now. He'd be proud of you, you know? Taking up his legacy under these circumstances.

[SFX: Isaac is interrupted by an exceptionally loud and abrasive buzz.]

ARGUS: Dammit- that's lunch-

JOHNSON: (from a distance)ALRIGHT DIPSHITS- LINE UP WITH YOUR GROUPS!

ARGUS: Please, trust me, we have a plan. I'll get details to you tonight-

[SFX: Argus pulls Isaac in for a tight hug.]

JOHNSON: Inmate one-forty-three- let's go!

ISAAC: Please don't do this.

ARGUS: (ignoring his concern) I'm so glad you're alive, Isaac.

ISAAC: (under his breath) Me too, kid.

[SFX: Argus dashes away.]

[SFX: A medium sized ship lands and docks.]

CADE: Hold!

[SFX: The door to the ship opens.]

CADE: Alright, let's go! Pack it up and send her off in ten. I don't wanna be here all night.

[SFX: A group of people walk up the gangplank and grab crates. cade walks up and down, tapping a clipboard.]

CADE: Careful with that.

[SFX: Close by, a crate is dropped and there's the sound of something breaking.]

CADE: Seriously? What did I just say?

HENCHMAN #1: Sorry, boss. I don't know what happened.

CADE: Don't let it happen again. We can't afford to lose any product.

[SFX: Henchman #1 picks his load back up and keeps going.]

SWIFT: Looks like we've got a regular softie over here.

CADE: Excuse you?

SWIFT: That's not exactly how I imagined Mila's lieutenant dealing with slip-ups.

CADE: Shove off, Swift. These are my men. Now, what the hell do you want?

SWIFT: Just thought I'd come and make sure the shipment runs smoothly and all that.

CADE: (laughs) I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but it's under control.

SWIFT: Laugh all you want, Cade, but I'm here because you need me.

CADE: How do you figure?

SWIFT: Your days as Mila's right-hand are numbered.

CADE: (taken aback) I'm the closest thing she has to family right now. She would never abandon me. Nor I, her.

SWIFT: I get it, you girls are close. But this business is cutthroat and Mila's playing in the big leagues now. I just worry that she thinks you might be... a little too lax for this position.

CADE: (incredulous) She would never say that.

SWIFT: Oh, not to me, but I hear things.

CADE: I don't believe you.

SWIFT: You don't have to.

CADE: (mocking) Awww...I honestly feel bad for you. Did you think you could come in here and work your way to the top? The only reason she let you in is because you have information. Now, feel free to disappear into the night like the bottomfeeder you are. The big kids are busy.

SWIFT: (pause) I'll go, but don't ever say I didn't try to help you, Cade.

CADE: Yeah, sure. I'll keep that in mind. (to her men) Alright, are we all packed up or what? Let's get a move on.

[SFX: The movement in the scene continues to take back over as swift stalks away from the docks. Transition music creeps in.]

[SFX: Chatter of a crowded room. People are moving about. pavlima: lima notices that Cas has entered the hall.]

PAVLIMA: (shouting over the crowd) Cas! Hey!

[SFX: She crosses the room to meet him.]

CAS:  Hey, Pav. How's it going?

PAVLIMA: Good, well, you know. It's okay. Listen, I've been wanting to talk to you about something.

CAS: Ah... if it's relationship stuff, I should warn you, I've got no idea what I'm doing. I'm amazed Helina's even with me, so I'm definitely not comfortable giving advice.

PAVLIMA: No, no, no. It's not that. It's... I had this idea for how to help, but I know if I bring it up to Kendall she'll say no.

CAS: Oh no... please don't put me in the middle. She'll kill me.

PAVLIMA: Listen - she won't, because it's a good one. You know how you're having a hard time blending in on surface runs?

CAS: Yeah, sure. It's pretty obvious we don't belong up there. Any run-in we can't avoid ends in blood.

PAVLIMA: What if I told you I have a batch of Wolfpac robes in my old place? And if we can find a way to get them, you two could be hiding in plain sight.

CAS: It sounds great, but also like there's a catch. Why won't she go for it?

PAVLIMA: Because I'd have to come with you.

CAS: Yup. She's definitely gonna kill me… And... there she is. Please don't make me do this.

PAVLIMA: Come on, Cas. This is getting ridiculous. Even you must realize she can't keep me out of harm's way forever. I somehow managed to take care of myself long before she came around.

CAS: Don't take it personally. I wouldn't even want Shaima to go up there. It's not safe.

KENDALL: (approaching) What are you two furiously whispering about?

CAS: N-nothing.

KENDALL: Weird, because it feels like something.

PAVLIMA: I was just running an idea by Cas and he thinks it's a good one.

KENDALL: Oh, does he?

CAS: Kendall, you're gonna hate me for this, but she's right. Just hear us out.

[SFX: Transition music takes us out of the conversation.]

[SFX: Mechanical sound of an electric screwdriver, removing a metal plate. Timms pokes around inside Tin Man's head with a screwdriver while she talks.]

TIMMS: He had something to do with their disappearance, Antony. It's the only thing that makes any sense.

ANTONY: Seems like a sound theory to me, Admiral.

TIMMS: I've let this go on for far too long. Losing Kurt and Jill was tragic, but letting their BT9 unit run the show in their absence? Pure insanity.

ANTONY: I've been saying we should decommission him since the second we got here.

TIMMS: (sighing) If only it were that easy.

[SFX: Timms knocks into tin man's head three times, making a loud ding sound.]

TIMMS: Who knows what secrets are stored in this head of his? And then there's the matter at hand.

ANTONY: The missing Prisoner and the Queen?

TIMMS: No, astoundingly enough, that's the least of our worries… Jacob says the situation on the ground is only getting worse.

ANTONY: It can't be that bad. I've been down to the surface as many times as anybody else and I'm just fine. Personally I think he's exaggerating.

TIMMS: You exhaust me Antony. The numbers and the science don't lie. It's real, and you've been lucky so far, trust me, nobody's luck holds forever.

ANTONY: But-

TIMMS: -bup bup. This topic is not debatable because fact is not debatable. Discussing this any further makes morons out of both of us… Moving on- Have you had any luck shoring up Wolfpac troops?

ANTONY: Working on it as we speak. Before Root absconded from his cell, the slimy little weasel proved useful enough.

TIMMS: (relieved) That, at least, is good news. We need all the manpower we can scrape together.

ANTONY: Sadly none of his connects were able to help us in sourcing elderweed.

TIMMS: I'm sad to say we may need to look into BT9's suggestion of harvesting the extract we need directly from the Proximans themselves.

ANTONY: I thought Jacob said he wouldn't do it?

TIMMS: It's high time people remember who's in charge around here. It will be done with or without him.

ANTONY: I don't understand what all the fuss is about, they're just Squids.

TIMMS: And that shocking lack of regard for life is why you'll never be given a higher executive post.

ANTONY: I disagree. I think it's why I've received all the promotions that I have. I do what needs to be done without sentimentality.

TIMMS: You have the post that you have because your father owns CORE-TECH--

ANTONY: Admiral, can you remind me again how many squids died when we took out the East Tower?

TIMMS: That's different.

ANTONY: How, exactly?

TIMMS: Lieutenant, that is enough!

[SFX: Antony snorts and there's a moment of silence while Timms continues tinkering. She has a slight electric shock.]

TIMMS: Fuck.

ANTONY: Find anything useful in there?

TIMMS: There's something installed that shouldn't be. It's blocking me from accessing his memory database.

ANTONY: That seems awful suspicious to me.

TIMMS: It sure does… Lieutenant, you understand that right now, more than anything else, I need a win?

ANTONY: Of course.

TIMMS: And, while I appreciate everything you're doing with the Wolfpac, I'll need you to keep an eye on this one while I let it try to prove its worth.

ANTONY: Say no more. I'm on it.

TIMMS: Good.

[SFX: Timms screws a plate back into place, something sounds, and Tin Man reactivates mid sentence.]

TIN MAN: ...and I swear, if you'll only allow me to access my old labs, I promise I'll be able to deliver a cure.

TIMMS: Fine. Antony will take you to Work Camp 2 to procure a subject tomorrow.

TIN MAN: Ma'am, I really must protest. I work better alone. There's no need to send your overzealous watch dog.

TIMMS: (cutting him off) You're lucky enough not to be in the incinerator. You'll do as I say, and you'll like it. You hear me?

TIN MAN: Affirmative.

TIMMS: Now, both of you, go. I have an interrogation with Bimble to attend to.

[SFX: Foreboding transition music creeps in as Antony and Tin Man walk away together.]

[SFX: The snoring of inmates, cots creaking, the occasional whimper of a bad dream. Oz rolls over in his bunk muttering under his breath.]

ARGUS: (whispered) Oz...

OZ: Yes, Argus?

ARGUS: I thought you were still awake.

OZ: Can't sleep. My brain is whirling.

ARGUS: Mine too.

OZ: I'm sending my prayers to Wanda, may she guide us in our righteous endeavor-

ARGUS: Oh yeah? Well, send the cloud princess one from me too, couldn't hurt I suppose.

OZ: I already did.

ARGUS: You prayed for me?

OZ: Every night.

ARGUS: (oddly touched) Oh... thank you.

OZ: I know you'd do the same.

ARGUS: If I believed?

OZ: Yes.

ARGUS: It's not just Wanda. I can't believe there's any kind of higher power out there. Not when all of this happens.

OZ: Without struggle, we cannot know our true selves.

ARGUS: I don't know, Oz. This is a whole lot of struggle.

OZ: And yet, we will overcome.

ARGUS: Does that mean you're not worried about tomorrow?

OZ: I've never been more ready for anything in my life.

ARGUS: I'm glad you're on my side.

[SFX: They sit in silence for a moment before argus chuckles.]

OZ: What?

ARGUS: I'm just thinking how crazy it is that we're friends. I trust you with my life, which is insane considering how we first met.

OZ: (chuckles) You're not so bad yourself, for grounder trash.

ARGUS: You're a good man Oz, seriously, you didn't have to be here- the Wolves were safe from work camp duty, but you made a stand. I respect that.

OZ: It just felt wrong. I can't believe our Queen would align herself with those vicious thugs.

ARGUS: We can agree to disagree there, but even still.

OZ: We can agree that what's happening to our people is an atrocity.

ARGUS: On that we can.

[SFX: The two men stop talking as a guard lumbers down the hall, occasionally dragging his nightstick against the bars. when they're further away, argus continues.]

OZ: Who was the man you were talking to in the mess hall? The older one.

ARGUS: Isaac. He was a friend of my parents'... a friend of mine. We were in the same cell before Contact Day, but he risked his life trying to help me escape. We met up again in the camp, but he disappeared not long after.

OZ: Now you'll be able to return the favor.

ARGUS: That's the thing... he asked me not to.

OZ: Don't let his fear dissuade you, Argus. We are all, every single one of us, behind you.

ARGUS: Thank you, Oz. We've been talking about this for so long, I can't second guess myself now.

OZ: We'll take our city back. One gloriously killed human at a time. Your friend'll come around when he sees how many people are with us.

ARGUS: I hope you're right...

OZ: We'd better get some rest. We're going to need it.

ARGUS: Sleep well, my friend.

[SFX: They each shift in their bunks and drift off to sleep. hopeful music closes out the scene.]

[SFX: The lid of a dumpster creeps open. There's a light wind blowing, otherwise, the street is silent.]

WANDA: (whispering) What can you see, Root?

ROOT: (aggravated) Your Majesty, be quiet!

WANDA: I'm being quiet.

ROOT: The coast is finally clear.

[SFX: Wanda lets out a shriek of glee and throws the lid open, climbing out. Root makes a much greater fuss as he does the same.]

WANDA: Can't say I ever expected to spend time in a dumpster! Look at me, less than a day away from home and already having new adventures. It's scrumptious!

ROOT: You understand that we were in there because we're in certain danger, yes?

WANDA: Oh pah, you're no fun.

ROOT: I still can't believe you threw me out that window.

WANDA: Threw? I couldn't throw you if I tried. It was merely a little nudge. I had to be sure the chute still worked. They're old suits.

ROOT: How flattering, my Queen. I have no idea how we're going to get anywhere with this swollen ankle.

WANDA: Looks the same size as the other to me.

ROOT: What are you talking about, it's massive!

[SFX: Wanda chuckles and the two start off, Root limping as they go.]

WANDA: So, where to next?

ROOT: (exasperated) As fond as I am of you, it'd behoove us to find a dwelling where we wouldn't have to sleep quite so on top of one another.

WANDA: That would be preferable, yes… So, how will we do that?

ROOT: (sighing) Here. The South Tower. I know of an apartment that might be free.

WANDA: (sarcastic) Taking a lift when we're on the run doesn't seem like the smartest move to me, Good Captain.

ROOT: I know that ma'am. That's what this is for.

[SFX: Root stops and punches in a code dramatically, letting out a laugh. After a few moments, nothing happens. He does it again, still nothing happens.]

WANDA: Um....

ROOT: Dammit.

WANDA: Was something supposed to happen?

ROOT: They must have changed the access code to this old freight.

WANDA: Oh here, let me.

[SFX: Wanda punches in a code that is six times longer than root's. After one try, the freight elevator's door opens.]

ROOT: How'd you do that?

WANDA: Never you mind… It doesn't seem like there's a lift here waiting for us, Root.

ROOT: Brilliant deduction, Wanda.

WANDA: Oh well, I guess we'll just have to climb. How far up did you say it was?

ROOT: You've gotta be kidding me.

WANDA: Oh no, I'm deadly serious.

ROOT: You're gonna be the death of me.

WANDA: Wouldn't that just be lovely?

ROOT: Whu...

WANDA: C'mon, hep hep. Up you go.

[SFX: Root groans pathetically as he begins his climb, Wanda chuckling as she follows him. Transition music ends the episode.]