Episode transcript - “THANKSGIVING WITH THE MOYNAHANS”
[MUSIC: Forgive Me! Theme plays on a creepier-sounding organ.]
FR. BEN: Can we just eat? You spent ten hours on that turkey, it’s silly to let it get cold.
THERESA: Alex’ll be here any minute, you know how unpredictable his schedule is.
FR. BEN: Sure, but we wait on him for everything, I just want him to give you the respect you deserve.
THERESA: Ben, you know he’s busy.
FR. BEN: We’re all busy! At least I made it here on time for dinner.
THERESA: Alex has been on tour pretty much every day the last two years and still managed to make it to little North Tonawanda three times. I don’t wanna make you feel guilty, but I’m pretty sure that’s two more than you.
FR. BEN: I know you’re not trying to make me feel guilty, Mom, but you do it effortlessly.
THERESA: (chuckling) I’m just glad I’ll have you both together again. Two years since our last group hug is too long.
FR. BEN: I know Mom… I’m sorry, it’s been a heck of a few years. Between the changing parishes to the…
[SFX: Door crashes open and Alex stomps in.]
ALEX: Hey mom sorry I’m late, I had to drop Jason off at his Dad’s on Grand Island.
THERESA: That’s alright honey! Just leave your things by the door and give your mother a hug.
ALEX: (approaching) Of course!
THERESA: (hugging him) Oh my goodness look at your hair! You cut it all off.
ALEX: It’s growing back, I shaved it off for the summer.
THERESA: Well I’ve gotta say, I personally love it. It’s great to see your face for once.
ALEX: Yeah, yeah. So what’s for dinner? Maybe wanna order in, get some wings?
THERESA: Very funny. Sit down next to your brother.
FR. BEN: (somewhat warmly) Hey Alex.
ALEX: BENDER!!! Jesus you were sitting there so quiet I thought you were part of the furniture. What’s up Father Brother!!!
FR. BEN: Can you not call me that?
ALEX: What? Why can’t I call you father? Should I go with Daddy? Your Benderliness?
FR. BEN: No. Bender. I’m in my mid thirties. I think you can call me by my actual name.
ALEX: Whatever you say, dad. How’ve you been, Bender…jamin. Benjamin?
FR. BEN: (sighs) I’ve been good, Alex. How about you?
ALEX: Awesome man, killer year for the Gooch. Going over to Rome next month to play the Baddican.
FR. BEN: I highly doubt the Pope is planning to host Satan’s Gooch.
ALEX: Ha! Like we’d perform for grandpa virtue signals anyway. No, not the Vatican, the Baddican. It’s a new venue started by this group of Italian metalheads.
FR. BEN: (flatly) Sounds lovely.
ALEX: They’re a wild bunch from what I heard. Throwing handfuls of black pepper, pecorino and bucatini into the crowd and get this… they call it Moshio e pepe.
FR. BEN: Ugh, that would smell awful.
ALEX: Eh it’s a metal club, can’t be much worse than what we’re used to.
THERESA: Look at you two getting on like old times. I might just need to pull out your old Super Bintendo and let you boys hang out.
FR. BEN: How about we just eat, Mom? I’d hate for the turkey to get any colder…
THERESA: Oh yes, will you do the honors? No point in having a priest in the family if he doesn’t say grace.
FR. BEN: (resigned) Of course… Bless us oh Lord and these thy gi…
THERESA: (clears throat)
FR. BEN: What?
THERESA: (sweetly) You promised…
FR. BEN: He doesn’t even actually believe in it! It’s just his… I don’t know… aesthetic!
ALEX: Oh man please tell me you actually convinced him to…
FR. BEN: Mom I’m an actual catholic priest and you’d seriously rather have me blaspheme just to be equitable.
THERESA: Ben honey, it’s only fair and you already said you would.
FR. BEN: (sighs) fine. Bless us oh lord…(gritted teeth) and Satan… and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ..
ALEX: and…
FR. BEN: (again gritted teeth) and Anti-Christ our Lord, Amen.
THERESA: Amen.
ALEX: Aaamen! Let's eat!
FR. BEN: Yes please.
[SFX: Fades away as they begin to eat dinner.]
THERESA: Ben, could you pass the mashed potatoes?
FR. BEN: Here you go, Mom.
ALEX: Have to say, I’m sad I was so lost in prayer I couldn’t get a video of that grace. Would’ve crushed on the Gooch’s BikBok.
FR. BEN: Yeah, yeah. Save some of that broccoli casserole for the rest of us!
ALEX: I need the Fiber! I’ve been living off gas station taquitos for 2 months.
[SFX Fade into the kitchen, sink running as Theresa does dishes.]
FR. BEN: Seriously mom, that was a great dinner. Did you do something different this year with the cranberries?
THERESA: Can you grab that towel? The rack’s full, so you can dry the plates.
FR. BEN: Yeah, you got it.
THERESA: Now, what is it?
FR. BEN: What?
THERESA: The cranberry sauce was from a can, Ben. Something’s clearly on your mind.
FR. BEN: Ugh, I don’t know… it’s just, he makes me so frustrated. I have so many more pressing things on my plate and yet every time I see Alex… it’s all I can think about.
THERESA: Family will do that to you… you should’ve seen me and my sisters when we were your age.
FR. BEN: Oh yeah?
THERESA: Yup, your Aunt Carol would show up to Thanksgiving every year with a new boyfriend and it drove me up a wall. Then I wouldn’t think about it again until the next time I saw her. Kinda like stepping into another world, with different problems, different priorities.
FR. BEN: I guess so.
THERESA: You’re connected to your family in a different way, especially your siblings.
FR. BEN: But you and Aunt Carol seem to get on so well. Didn’t you go on that Fleetwood Mac cruise together?
THERESA: Of course! Nobody else worth going on a Floatwood Mac with than Carol. She can still charm the pants off any bartender, even in her 70’s!
FR. BEN: (grossed out) TMI mom.
THERESA: (laughing) Sorry I forgot my son was literally holier than thou.
FR. BEN: But if she drives you crazy, are the free drinks really worth it?
THERESA: If you asked me at your age? I’d have said hell no. I’d just had you and Carol even said to my face, “I’ll never understand a woman who would choose a child over her own freedom.”
FR. BEN: Jeez, that’s pretty harsh.
THERESA: It was the late 80s, your aunt was a 3rd wave feminist and lacked nuance. Still, at the time I was furious. Made a whole thing about us not going over to grandma and grandpas whenever she was in town. Drove everyone in the family crazy.
FR. BEN: That doesn’t sound like a fun time.
THERESA: It wasn’t. I remember getting a phone call from her a few times… well a voicemail. I wasn’t picking up the calls. Always the same thing like, “Sis how are you? Hope Ferris and the kids are good. I’m spending the summer in Paris eating cheese,” yada, yada, yada. Never once acknowledging that I was avoiding her or even why I was mad.
FR. BEN: That must have been…
THERESA: Infuriating! Still she was persistent. This went on for like 2 years until the first appointment with your dad.
FR. BEN: (suddenly serious) Yeah?
THERESA: I remember, we’d just learned the diagnosis and he went to lie down before you got home from school. I sat at the kitchen table, staring at nothing…then it rang.
FR. BEN: Carol?
THERESA: The one and only. She had no clue about your dad; only wanted to chat.
FR. BEN: You picked it up?
THERESA: You know, I remember seeing her name on the caller ID your dad was so proud of, and for a second I thought better of it. But then I picked it up and just said, “Hey Carol.”
FR. BEN: Was she surprised?
THERESA: If she was she didn’t let it show. Just said, “Hey sis, glad I caught ya. How’s Tonawanda?” I immediately started sobbing, spilling everything about your dad’s Leukimia. Without missing a beat, she consoled me. Even after all that time I ignored her.
FR. BEN: Good sister.
THERESA: She really is. We stayed on the phone for an hour after that, talking about anything and everything and you know what? She was still ridiculous and a little bit of a snob, but I drank in that chat like it was the only thing keeping me going.
FR. BEN: Wow, I’m glad she was there for you.
THERESA: Me too, Ben. I’m sure you can see where I’m going with this, but I want to give you a piece of advice my mom gave me during my Aunt Carol protest.
FR. BEN: Yeah?
THERESA: Family is like a hearty plant. It feels inevitable, but it isn’t. It doesn’t take a lot, but without some watering? It’ll be dead and gone. I sure am glad your aunt did the watering for us.
FR. BEN: That’s, really beautiful mom. Thanks for sharing that.
THERESA: Don’t thank me, finish drying those dishes and go talk to your satanist little brother.
FR. BEN: But why does it always have to be me that reaches out?
THERESA: Benjamin Robert Monaghan you are 35 years old.
FR. BEN: But… I mean… ugh fine!
THERESA: Thank you dear. And bring in one of those ginger ales I have on the porch.
[SFX: We fade as Ben goes out to the porch, where Alex plays a bass that isn’t plugged in.]
FR. BEN: You want a jacket?
ALEX: (Still playing his bass, cigarette between his lips) What?
FR. BEN: You want a jacket or something? It's freezing tonight.
ALEX: (stops playing, coming a bit out of a stupor) What was that? (realizes he heard) Oh nah I’m fine. The bogey’s warming me up, want one?
FR. BEN: I’m good...
ALEX: (smirking) You sure, St. Ben?
FR. BEN: (Sighs) Fine.
ALEX: You’re too easy, Bender.
FR. BEN: Shut up and hand it over before I change my mind.
ALEX: Here, catch!
[SFX: Alex tosses the pack.]
FR. BEN: Jesus, Warwicks?
ALEX: For a guy who doesn’t smoke you sure are a snob.
FR. BEN: Eugh, I’m gonna feel like death tomorrow.
ALEX: Isn’t death the whole point of the Catholic thing? Don’t smoke now so you can light up in heaven with God?
[SFX: Ben fumbles with a lighter to light his cigarette.]
FR. BEN: I like to think it’s a bit more complex than that.
ALEX: (chuckles) If you say so…
FR. BEN: (inhales the cigarette) You know (exhales) the other priest I live with is obsessed with these things. He hides them, but we both know they’re there.
ALEX: That old German?
FR. BEN: (surprised) Yeah. Mom told you about Klem?
ALEX: She mentioned him in one of her reports. Sounds like a pretty funny dude.
FR. BEN: He’s definitely a weird guy.
ALEX: Spent enough days in Berlin at this point to believe that. Not that many old guys at the clubs though.
FR. BEN: (Laughs) I’d believe it. (beat) But yeah I just meant like, we’ve got cigarettes in the house all the time, I know where they are, nobody would even know I took one. God knows Klem isn’t the keeping count guy these days. But I never do, I’m not even tempted to do it. I don’t think I even like smoking.
ALEX: Oh yeah?
FR. BEN: Yup. And then… Here I am, complaining about the brand because I’m around my cool little brother.
ALEX: What’re you talking about man?
FR. BEN: It’s like every time we’re together I’m just that dork back in high school with my cooler, badass little brother. I’m a grown up with my own dang issues but when I’m around you for whatever reason I can’t shake the past.
ALEX: Shit… ok we’re getting heavy, then?
FR. BEN: (laughs) Yeah I guess. (beat) I mean you do get what I’m saying though, right?
ALEX: I don’t know dude, I’m not trying to do anything but hang out with you and mom right now. Why does that bring you down so much?
FR. BEN: I mean I don’t know dude, I think it’s just like… you never compromise who you are at any moment.
ALEX: I thought that was a good thing?
FR. BEN: (laughs) Maybe if you didn’t impose who you are on me, on mom.
ALEX: According to mom I come around way more than you do.
FR. BEN: Jesus, it’s not just about coming around, but you’re right.
ALEX: What’s it about then?
FR. BEN: This isn’t about Mom, I don’t know why I even brought her up.
ALEX: (laughs) You tell me I’m the reason you’re acting like a middle schooler and you can’t get 5 minutes into a conversation without hiding behind her.
FR. BEN: (With a fond mirth) You’re such an idiot.
ALEX: And you’re a baby… Bender… So if this isn’t about mom… what’s your problem?
FR. BEN: It’s not a problem… look, remember when we were both home from school? Must’ve been our early twenties, I was preparing for seminary and you’d just met the guys from the Gooch. We went to that wrestling match?
ALEX: Yeah, that was great! Old man Glombo and his sons Brindle and Hot Breath beat the shit out of Perfect Victor. He turned heel after that match, historic.
FR. BEN: Well… I never watched wrestling and didn’t want to go at all. I was old enough at that point to tell you that, but you were so excited that you got me… wrapped up in saying yes to you.
ALEX: So you tagged along.
FR. BEN: I remember being there for hours, waiting by the back wall for this loud miserable night to be over. I knew you were excited about it, but it just… it wasn’t for me.
ALEX: Aw no way. I remember that as an awesome time!
FR. BEN: Yeah, cause you were so pumped, that you went up front and you never even noticed I hung back.
ALEX: I genuinely don’t remember that man, I’m sorry.
FR. BEN: You seriously don’t have to be, but that’s kinda the point I’m trying to make. You find your fun and make it for yourself. If I don’t? Tough luck.
ALEX: I don’t get what you’re trying to say here dude. I don’t force you to do anything.
FR. BEN: (getting a little frustrated) That’s not… (calms down) that’s not what I’m trying to say. Seriously I don’t blame you for this I’m just trying to be honest.
ALEX: Fine, go on then.
FR. BEN: What I’m trying to express, is that you are an extremely smart, charming and almost annoyingly cool guy.
ALEX: (chuckles) Why couldn’t you have started with that?
FR. BEN: BUT you are always using that to get your way.
ALEX: I don’t always get my way.
FR. BEN: Mom made me sit at the table for a full hour tonight, waiting for you to get here so we could eat.
ALEX: (scoffs) No shit, really?
FR. BEN: Really. She’s obsessed with making us happy, man. But we both know you’re her favorite.
ALEX: Yeah right.
FR. BEN: Seriously! I’m shocked she hasn’t started wearing a pentagram next to her cross. She's so proud of your band.
ALEX: Yeah, but you should hear the guilt trips I get when you’re not around. Gushing about all that good you do… Her perfect saintly Benjamin.
FR. BEN: Really? I’d always assumed she was a little annoyed I became a priest since she wanted grandkids.
ALEX: Don’t remind me, since you’re Mr. Celibacy, I’m supposed to pick up that slack.
FR. BEN: Yeah, sorry about that one.
ALEX: Ha you should be. Anyway, back to how horrible it is that I’m extremely charming.
FR. BEN: (sighs) All I’m trying to say is I get so caught up in your current, I lose myself. Or maybe just my confidence. I don’t know, but the point is I love you and I worry if every time we hang out we have to do the absolutely miserable crap you like to do… I won’t be able to stomach it… Speaking of this cigarette is not helping my stomach.
[Beat]
FR. BEN: Alex? You there man?
ALEX: Yeah man, just thinking.
FR. BEN: Gotcha.
[Beat of silence]
FR. BEN: Listen I didn’t mean to offend you… I get that this stuff’s fun for you, I just want us to both enjoy the things that we…
ALEX: (interrupting) Dude, relax.
FR. BEN: (a little defensive) What?
ALEX: I just said I’m thinking, can I do that without you freaking out for once?
FR. BEN: (defensive but recognizes he’s right) Yeah, that’s… fine.
[Beat]
FR. BEN: I just don’t want you to think that I think you’re a bad….
ALEX: BEN!
FR. BEN: Sorry!
[Beat]
ALEX: I guess… I don’t know man. I’m trying not to take this like, you need me to be some other dude.
FR. BEN: See that’s really not what I’m trying to say!
ALEX: I know, I know. But look, I’ve been on tour for the last 6 months and I get to come home like twice in that time? When I’m around mom and you, I don’t really want to have to think about how I come off. I just wanna hang out with my family.
FR. BEN: Come on Alex, It’s not like I’m asking you to change who you are.
ALEX: Chill Bender, I’m trying to… I’m trying to tell you how I’m feeling.
FR. BEN: Oh… yeah. Go for it.
ALEX: Look, like I said, I’m on tour a lot. And I’m on a lot. For the fans.
FR. BEN: (trying to relate) Like you’re pretending?
ALEX: (a bit thrown) What? No man! I love what I do, the clubs, the band, it’s really fun and pretty fucking rewarding. It’s just intense. Spending every day in a van and then just ON, going nuts onstage, meeting people afterwards, talking to weirdo fans from all over the world. Don’t get me wrong I’m a weirdo too, but they’re on another level. It’s a lot.
FR. BEN: Sounds like it.
ALEX: Like ok, last week we’re in Asbury Park on the final leg of the tour after playing 6 days straight. All I wanted was a nap. But we get to the venue and there’s a decent crowd and everyone’s into it which is pretty energizing. I was having fun, but I still planned to sneak out after the gig since Jeff went to Rutgers, and this was basically a hometown show for him anyway. He’d get mobbed and I could just slip out. But then, I see him.
FR. BEN: Who?
ALEX: You remember Rick Hanson?
FR. BEN: That quiet kid from high school?
ALEX: The one and only. Moved out to Jersey right after graduating and has been coming to Gooch shows ever since. Loves us, (laughs) in the early days we even played a show just for him.
FR. BEN: Woah I had no clue.
ALEX: (sighs) Yeah. Years go by now and I know I gotta give him the time of day. I mean how could I not! But the guy can talk though.
FR. BEN: Yeah, I know the type.
ALEX: (laughs) I bet you do, Father.
FR. BEN: (lets out a knowing snort)
ALEX: The thing is, as annoying Rick can be, and trust me when I tell you it’s a lot. One thing I learned early? When we started getting traction and touring a lot, was that the people in these towns know me. Or like? A version of me. So given I get to do rock and roll for my fucking job, the least I can do is pick up that relationship where it left off.
FR. BEN: Jeez Alex, that's really kind of you.
ALEX: (laughs) Thanks, but shit it’s not that kind, it’s a great strategy for getting a bunch of free drinks and places to crash too.
FR. BEN: I’d bet it is.
ALEX: Look Ben, I’m just trying to tell ya, I come home and I don’t want to do that with my mom and my brother. But… I get that I’m a loud dude and… as annoying as you are sometimes…
FR. BEN: As bad as Rick?
ALEX: (laughs) Nah… I mean sometimes, probably, but I like you a lot more.
FR. BEN: Gosh, I’m so flattered, little brother!
ALEX: (laughs) Whatever man. I just mean to say I get what you’re saying and am down to do… something different.
FR. BEN: I think I get what you’re saying too? Maybe we just gotta even the playing field. Hang out somewhere more neutral next time.
ALEX: Like where? I mean what’s in the middle of a church and a black metal show?
FR. BEN: Jim Snoretons?
ALEX: Hell yeah, Jim Soretons. I’ll get my coa…
FR. BEN: I mean, I’m still pretty full from dinner? (to himself) Look at me pushing against the tide.
ALEX: Aw, c’mon, see you’ve got it in ya… But you’re right, I guess tomorrow makes more sense.
FR. BEN: Agreed. (getting up) Well, we should go in and hang out with mom.
ALEX: Yeah that sounds good. She’s been talking about that new Bob Box game for the tv and is dying for us to try it.
FR. BEN: Let’s do it. Thanks for talking.
ALEX: You too brother, I love ya. I’m glad we’re still hanging out.
FR. BEN: I love you too, Alex.
[MUSIC: The end credits music starts to play.]
ADAM RAYMONDA: Forgive Me! is a Rogue Dialogue production. This episode was written by Jack Marone and Bob Raymonda.
Here’s our cast in order of appearance:
Casey Callaghan Fr. Ben
Sheirel Mordaunt Theresa
Bob Raymonda Alex
Dialogue Editing by Bob Raymonda.
Sound design, score, and mixing by me Adam Raymonda.
All of the graphic design comes from Sam Twardy.
Find out about we’re up to by following @forgivemeshow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.
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Thank you so much for listening to this episode. We truly appreciate you all for listening and spending time with our characters on this holiday. Happy Thanksgiving! We hope you spend the time with your friends and family and loved ones. We’ll see you all next year with more of Forgive Me! Until then, we love ya, bye!
[MUSIC: The credits music comes to a crescendo as Adam sings, “Ohh won’t you forgive me?”]