Episode transcript - “Confessions With Klem: ENZO & RICKY”

[MUSIC: The Forgive Me! Opening theme plays.]

ENZO: I didn’t realize you made house calls, Father Klem.

FR. KLEM: Of course I do! It’s my duty to the people in my community. Back in my day pastoral care used to mean something, you know

ENZO: I’m sure it has nothing to do with that new sweet shop around the corner.

FR. KLEM: Enzo, you wound me.

ENZO: Uhuh.

FR. KLEM: Although, should you visit, their cheese and guava danish is brilliant. A dream. But, that’s not why I came! What sort of priest would I be, if I didn’t make time to meet the newest member of our congregation.

ENZO: Well, in that case, I’m glad you came. Because, until she gets on a better sleep schedule, it’ll be a while before you see Ricky and me for Sunday mass.

FR. KLEM: If I had known you two were trying to adopt, I would’ve had Father Ben keep you both in his prayers.

ENZO: Not You?

FR. KELM: I let Benny do most of the prayer work for both of us these days. But enough about me, tell me how it’s been goin?

ENZO: Oh, it’s been a long time dream, but honestly, I didn’t even think it would happen. We got our names on a list, I don’t know, years ago and then an email and a million phone calls later I’m— We’re dads.

FR. KLEM: Enzo, that’s wonderful. I can’t even begin to tell you how happy that makes me. Where is this sleepless little troublemaker?

ENZO: Ricky’s trying to put her to bed. Oh, speaking of which. 

[SFX: Brief static as he switches on a baby monitor.]

ENZO: Today we’re trying a combination of driving around the block an even number of times, followed by the sounds of ocean spray, and her stuffed frog. The fat one.

FR. KLEM: She sounds tough. Just sitting in this sun has me wanting a nap. Don’t suppose Ricky would tuck me in too?

ENZO: I’m sure he’d love that.

FR. KLEM: Now Enzo, forgive me if this is a touchy subject, but I have to ask…

ENZO: Right.

FR. KLEM: Your mother. Is she…still here?

ENZO: You know

FR. KLEM: I don’t mean to press—

ENZO: No, no. It’s okay. I um, I don’t feel her as strongly as I did before. A month ago I would’ve described her as a draft from an open window. Out of place and a little annoying. I say that with love, of course. But nowadays… She’s like those mornings where there’s no reason to be up early, so you don’t set any alarms. And you’ve already decided you’re ordering breakfast, so there’s no reason to get a pot of coffee brewing. So you get this rare, restful sleep and the thing that wakes you up, is that ray of sunlight that peaks through the curtains. Warm. Soft.

FR. KLEM: This change in her presence, do you think it’s because of the baby?

ENZO: Part of me thinks, maybe, that she was trying to get us ready for her. Or, you know, she’s also tired of the baby screaming all night so she’s high tailing it out of here.

FR. KLEM: So you think she’s ready to move on?

ENZO: God no! I’m certain the second she’s done here she’ll start tormenting one of my sisters. Trumpets could be playing and angels could be calling her name, but she’s not going anywhere if she’s still got something to say to one of us.

FR. KLEM: Well, whenever she’s ready, the Lord will welcome her with open arms.

ENZO: That’s good to hear.

[SFX: Static chirps on the baby monitor.]

RICKY: Come on now, let’s try this again.

ENZO: Oh, oh! There he is.

[SFX: Turning the volume up on the baby monitor.]

RICKY: (singsongy in an extremely tired dad way)

Little Moira, Little Moira
I know you’re full of screams
But I’m begging you please
Close your eyes and sleep
So your dads can have some peace
Just hold your frog tight
And try sleeping through the night
Little Moira baby please

[SFX: There’s a quick beat.]

RICKY: (whispered) Oh, Enzo. She’s asleep. She’s finally asleep.

ENZO: Father Klem, looks like you brought a miracle on your visit. (beat) Father Klem?

FR. KLEM: (snoring loudly).

[MUSIC: Forgive Me! End credits song plays.}