Episode transcript - “around the town: munchies with mitchell”

[SFX: A pan of peppers, onions, and sausage sizzles. A pot of pasta boils over.]

CINDY: (reaching in for a bite) Don’t mind if I do!

MITCHELL: Eh, eh, eh! It’s not ready yet!

RAVEN: You’re liable to get your hand chopped off, Cin.

LOU: She always does that. It’s incredibly annoying.

RAVEN: (laughing) I wouldn’t know, because over here, I’m the one doing it too.

MITCHELL: She was speaking from experience.

[SFX: Raven holds up her arm, which Cindy takes and examines closely.]

CINDY: Jesus, Mitchell! You scarred this poor girl!

MITCHELL: In my defense, it was unintentional. Besides, she was the one who was reaching for the cutting board while I was mid-chopping onions.

RAVEN: What can I say? I’m a sucker for a raw onion. And I’m fine, it looks way worse than it actually is.

LOU: Looks pretty metal to me.

RAVEN: See? It gives me street cred.

CINDY: Just promise me you won’t be knife-wielding once the internship starts this summer? Trey did me a solid hooking you up with that gig, and if you go in there and wound him on your first day, I’m never gonna hear the end of it.

MITCHELL: Oh, ye of little faith! 

LOU: Besides, Trey’s a professional, he’s not gonna go in grabbing for a sample bite of Mitchell’s dish unless the kid’s stepped well out of his way.

RAVEN: And, they told him he’d mostly be doing prep work anyway. At first, at least. So I don’t think you’ve got anything to worry about.

CINDY: Aw, really? That’s too bad. I’ve talked you up a ton, told him about the insane concoctions you’ve always got cooking up whenever you’re over here.

MITCHELL: Yeahhh, but it’s alright. Everybody’s gotta start somewhere, and in most cases, that place is the bottom. I’m okay with it. God knows it’ll be better than another summer covered in peanut oil at Burger Bro’s.

RAVEN: That is not a smell I’ll miss.

LOU: Although the hookup was pretty nice, though. 

CINDY: As if you’re gonna stop eating Burger Bro’s once it isn’t free.

LOU: Of course not! But I will be bitter about it. That extra scoop of fries you’d always add to the bag? I always thought that was just a Six Gals Burgers & Pals thing.

MITCHELL: It was, I just like ya.

LOU: Aw! This nephew of yours, Cin, he’s a real sweetie. You could learn a thing or two from him.

CINDY: Are you trying to say I’m not sweet?!

RAVEN: The sweetest auntie I’ve ever met! Mine have never gotten me a really cool job, or taken me backstage at cool concerts. All they’ve ever given me is a homemade sweater, or maybe some socks if I’m lucky!

MITCHELL: Hey! Those socks are comfy as hell, and you know it.

CINDY: Not everyone can be as cool as me, no.

LOU: Or humble, either.

[SFX: Somebody’s stomach starts to rumble.]

RAVEN: So, honey, what’s on the menu tonight?

MITCHELL: Getting impatient again, are we?

CINDY: You better get this girl something to eat, fast, kid. Or she’ll be liable to smarten up and find herself a new man at that big fancy college she’s going to!

LOU: I still can’t believe you’re gonna be the Hamhock.

RAVEN: I’ve worked my whole life for this. 

LOU: I believe it! I went there, and I remember how competitive that program was.

RAVEN: And no, Cin, my Itchy Mitchy hasn’t got anything to worry about. He may be a little scrawny, but my man know’s the way to a girl’s heart is through her stomach.

[SFX: The sound of pasta being strained through a colander and burners being turned off.]

MITCHELL: Damn straight! And on that note, let’s dig in. So! What I have for you this evening is homemade pepper and onion jam with a blistered cherry tomato sauce over local pork sausage from the farmer’s market, and fresh baked bread from Beidelherg’s with a homemade garlic and herb butter.

LOU: Jesus Christ kid, and what did you say was infused?

MITCHELL: (mischievous) All of it.

CINDY: Excuse me?

MITCHELL: All of it! I used a bit of that Olly’s Organic THC Oil you brought me back from Denver to cook everything, and made the butter and the cheese myself, infused with an eighth from my friend Travis’ homegrown supply.

RAVEN: What he’s saying is that we’re all about to go to outer-fucking-space.

CINDY: You’re not kidding! God, kid, I knew you were good but this is next level.

MITCHELL: What can I say? I’ve found my passion.

LOU: You most certainly have! Now let’s eat!

[SFX: Everyone begins to serve themselves and we’re briefly lost in the sound of silverware clattering against plates. But we’ll save the audience (and ourselves) from actually listening to anyone eat, and cut to the end of the meal, a little later.]

RAVEN: You sure I can’t have another helping, sugar bear?

CINDY: Gross, I like hanging out with you kids, but the pet names are a bit much.

MITCHELL: I mean you can, if you want a repeat of our last rasta pasta night.

LOU: (chuckling) Oh lord, what happened?

RAVEN: (embarrassed) I may have had the kind of panic attack where I was convinced that I was going to die. And the thing about it was? I was most upset about pissing off my parents by doing it while they were on vacation…

CINDY: Hoo boy, I remember nights like those.

MITCHELL: I had to bring her home and force her to watch her comfort anime until she fell asleep, and confiscated both of our phones, so she didn’t actually call 911.

RAVEN: Fine, fine. But god, that was good.

LOU: It really was, kid, you’re going places. I just know it.

MITCHELL: Thanks, now if only my mom could see that.

CINDY: She can! 

MITCHELL: Then why’s she still so pissed about my internship?

CINDY: That’s got nothing to do with you.

LOU: Alright, my little doomed space cadet, why don’t we give these two a moment to talk while we go clean up?

RAVEN: And… if I happen to lick the spoon before we put it in the dishwasher?

MITCHELL: Raven!

LOU: (hand over her heart) I saw nothing.

[SFX: Lou and Raven clear the plates from the table and leave the room.]

MITCHELL: I just wish she could see how good this is going to be for me.

CINDY: She does. She just hates that I’m the one who got it for you, instead of her.

MITCHELL: That’s messed up.

CINDY: Eh, maybe. But it’s ancient sister stuff. You haven’t got anything to worry about. She’s proud of you. She would move mountains to see your dreams come true.

MITCHELL: Then why’d she try to stop me?

CINDY: Because she’s not ready to let you go, bud. And you can’t blame her for that. She’s used to having somebody to take care of, to dote on. I have a feeling she’s gonna be a little lost once that’s not the case anymore. Especially since you’re in such a rush to do it ASAP.

MITCHELL: I’m this independent and driven because she made me this way! 

CINDY: She knows that too. But that doesn’t make taking her hands off the reins any easier. Especially when she knows how bad things can get when she’s not keeping a close eye.

MITCHELL: I don’t think I’ve given her anything to worry about like that.

CINDY: No, you haven’t. But I did when I was your age. And she knows how close we are. How much you look up to me. I think she’s afraid you’re a little too eager to follow in my footsteps.

MITCHELL: Would that be such a bad thing?

CINDY: Of course not. But you’ve gotta try and let her know that you’re following in hers, too. She’ll appreciate it. More than you know.

MITCHELL: (sigh) I guess…

CINDY: Now, can we go check on those girls? I have a feeling they’re getting into trouble, and I don’t wanna talk about anymore serious shit now that this meal’s starting to really kick in.

MITCHELL: (laughing) After you, Aunt Cin.