Episode transcript - “the family plan”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Forgive Me! Season 4, Episode 11: The Family Plan

[SFX: The curtain opens and closes as Sam enters. He sits down, calmly, but doesn’t say anything right away.]

FR. BEN: Hi there. How can I help you today?

SAM: Well… an apology would be a nice start.

FR. BEN: (heart sinking immediately to the floor) Sam… it’s been… 

SAM: Years since you blew up my entire life?

FR. BEN: Of course, I owe you an apology. I owe you a mountain of apologies. There have been so many times over the past three years where I’ve picked up the phone, and started to dial your number… but I’m a coward. And I’m sorry for that, too.

SAM: It’s fine. I wouldn’t have accepted them. 

FR. BEN: You have every right to feel however you do.

SAM: I’m well aware of that.

FR. BEN: Would you rather speak in my office? I feel like you deserve to say whatever it is that you need to say to my face.

SAM: No, I think it’s probably better for both of us if I don’t.

FR. BEN: Understood.

[SFX: There is an uncomfortable moment of silence as both men shift on their creaky seats.]

FR. BEN: There aren’t enough words in the English dictionary to describe how sorry I am. Just… There isn’t a single solitary phrase that I could utter right now that would even begin to scratch the surface of what you deserve to hear.

SAM: How about you start with why?

FR. BEN: Excuse me?

SAM: Why you felt the need to sleep with my wife? Repeatedly. In my own house? As I continued to worship in your parish. Every single week.

FR. BEN: I… don’t think there’s an adequate answer to that question. At least, not one that you deserve.

SAM: How about you try?

FR. BEN: I… We… 

SAM: Can you even imagine how I felt when I found out? That I was being made into a fucking cuckold by my priest? Good ol’ Father Ben?

FR. BEN: I’m sorry—

SAM: Save it. I already told you, I don’t accept your apology. That’s not why I’m here today. I’m here for answers. And I need you to give them to me.

FR. BEN: We fell in love. We never meant to… it just. You were working a lot at the time. Olivia—

SAM: Don’t say her name.

FR. BEN: She was feeling unfulfilled. And I was questioning my dedication to my faith. There were questions that we both couldn’t find good answers to. We… connected over our shared discomfort with the way things had turned out for us.

SAM: Of course, Yeah, so your next best course of action was to have an affair.

FR. BEN: We never meant to hurt you, Sam. We were both just so afraid. That our lives were over, before they even really began, because of decisions we’d made when we were teenagers. It was… selfish. On both of our parts. 

SAM: You know, Hank tried to tell me something weird was going on between the two of you. He just had this hunch, for months, that you’d both broken your vows. I thought he was crazy. My Olivia? She could never. And you? You were the most devout man I’d ever met in my life. I looked up to you. I saw the seemingly effortless relationship you had with your faith: never questioning the path that God had set you on. I defended you. I refused to see what was happening in front of my damn eyes.

FR. BEN: It’s easy to look at someone else’s life and only see the brave face they put on in public. To be blind to the demons they’re battling, every single second of every single day.

SAM: No. You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to put on your collar and be a priest right now.

FR. BEN: I’m not trying to. Honestly, it’s just hard to take off. 

SAM: (with venom) Seems to me like it was plenty easy to take off when you were with my fucking wife.

FR. BEN: Sam, I understand that you’re angry. And you have every right to be. But could you please try to refrain from cursing? 

SAM: Go to Hell, Ben.

FR. BEN: (under his breath) I walked right into that one.

SAM: Yes you did.

[SFX: There’s another awkward silence. Somewhere outside, we hear the roll of thunder as a storm rolls in.]

FR. BEN: I just… I don’t know where you and I can go from here, Sam. If there was anything I could do to go back in time, to stop myself from making the decisions I made that brought us both to this exact moment, I would. I’d do it in a heartbeat. But unfortunately, we aren’t living in a world where time travel is possible. So all I can do is try my best to move on. Maybe you should think about doing the same thing…

SAM: How much did she tell you about me?

FR. BEN: I mean—

SAM: Seriously, how much do you know?

FR. BEN: Jeesh, Sam. Everything that happened was so long ago now, I’d be hard pressed to—

SAM: Try. Think. Really hard. What do you know about me? And my relationship to my wife?

FR. BEN: Olivia always said that the two of you were high school sweethearts. That you’d known each other since you were small. That your parents were close friends and that everyone always joked about how you’d end up together from the time you were in diapers. That it seemed like the choice was made for the both of you before you ever really had a chance to consider what forever meant.

SAM: (biting his tongue) Do you remember meeting my parents?

FR. BEN: Sam, that was six years ago now, they weren’t regular parishioners at Mother of Mercy, so I only met them the one time…

SAM: Anything in particular that stands out?

FR. BEN: They seemed like very wonderful people. I remember your father being a big Buffalo Williams fan, and catching a glimpse of him watching the game on his phone during the sermon…

SAM: Dad always was a diehard Williams fan. But that’s not the answer I was looking for.

FR. BEN: Uh…

SAM: C’mon, Ben. You know what I’m talking about. Anyone with two goddamn eyes knows what I’m talking about.

FR. BEN: They aren’t your biological parents.

SAM: Bingo. They aren’t. So I think I know a whole lot more about feeling like there were certain choices made about the course of my life without my input than the two of you ever will.

FR. BEN: Parenthood, for anyone, is an incredibly complex thing. But—

SAM: Save it. I already told you, I’m not here for one of your lectures. I have no qualms with my mom and pop. They’re good folks who’ve chosen me every single day since the day that they met me. But can you understand why I was so destroyed to find out that she wasn’t choosing me? That she’d gotten a sneak peek at what the rest of her life was going to look like, by my side, and opted out?

FR. BEN: I can.

SAM: Has she ever told you about what happened, the night she was going to leave me? The night you, by the way, didn’t choose her… after you convinced her to go. 

FR. BEN: Only the broad strokes. 

SAM: It wasn’t pretty.

[MID-ROLL AD BREAK]

[SFX: The storm continues to rage outside, but eventually it fades, and instead we hear the sound of tentative footsteps on a creaky wooden porch. A jingle of keys as the door is opened, and Olivia walks into the room where Sam is sitting.]

SAM: Holy shit, honey! Where have you been?! I’ve been calling your phone over and over again and it goes straight to voicemail.

OLIVIA: (on the precipice of a breakdown) Hey, Sam… you didn’t find my note?

SAM: What note?

[SFX: OIivia walks past him and into the kitchen. She takes a piece of paper off of the fridge, replacing the magnet where she found it. When she returns, she hands it to him.]

SAM: (softening, at first) Can’t believe I missed that one. But you’re here now, can you just tell me where you’ve been?

OLIVIA: Please, Sam… just read it.

SAM: Okay…

[SFX: Sam unfolds the note. There are a few moments of silence as he reads it… and then tears it to shreds.]

OLIVIA: (crying, barely letting out a whisper) I’m sorry…

SAM: (eerily calm) Him?

OLIVIA: I—

SAM: Of all the fucking people in the world, Olivia. Where is he now?

OLIVIA: (sobbing softly) I don’t know…

SAM: Thank Christ, he must’ve come to his senses… have you?

OLIVIA: (confused) What?

SAM: You’ve realized that this was all some sort of mistake. You were confused. But you’re back now. We’ll get through this—

OLIVIA: No, Sam. I’m so sorry that I hurt you. That I was too much of a coward to actually face you with any of the problems I was having in our marriage… but leaving tonight? It wasn’t a mistake.

SAM: (breaking, completely) What do you mean?

OLIVIA: Sam. I love you very much. And I know that you love me. But this isn’t working. It hasn’t been working for a long time. And I think both of us were just too afraid to say it… but now that I have? I can’t just unsay it—

SAM: Sure you can. The note’s already history. Can’t we just go to bed? Can’t we just wake up tomorrow like nothing bad ever happened?

OLIVIA: No. We can’t.

SAM: Please, baby, I need you… Don’t do this…

[SFX: Olivia walks up the stairs and away from Sam without another word. As we hear his frustrated shouts, the rain and thunder from back at the church creep back in.]

FR. BEN: I wouldn’t have imagined that it could have been.

SAM: I got on my knees and begged her to stay. Once we knew that you’d chickened out. She… her mind was already made up.

FR. BEN: I prefer to think that I made the ultimate choice to commit myself even further to my faith, but—

SAM: Save it.  Oh, how’s that working out for you now?

FR. BEN: Just fine, thanks.

SAM: That’s not what I’ve heard.

FR. BEN: I— I’m sorry that you’re in pain, Sam. I’m sorry that your life didn’t turn out the way that you were hoping for. And I’m sorry that my past actions in regards to my relationship with Olivia are at the root of so many of your problems. I will take full ownership of that.

SAM: You're damn right they are.

FR. BEN: But have you really thought about it? Have you taken a moment to step back and go over the facts of your relationship, and considered whether or not it was really as perfect as you liked to pretend it was?

SAM: Oh, fuck off.

FR. BEN: No, I’m serious. It’s been years since any of this happened. I know that I’ve spent more than a little bit of that time reliving every single second of every single day that brought me here. And am I proud of all of them? Absolutely not. But they paved the way for the man I am today. And that man is a person I’m trying to be proud of. Are you really able to say the same thing?

SAM: What the hell is that supposed to mean?

FR. BEN: I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I think you are a cruel or unkind person. I know you and Olivia well enough to know that that couldn’t be further from the truth. But I do think that you’re a stubborn man with his eyes dead set on a future that he never stopped to ask his wife if she even wanted.

SAM: I’m not following you.

FR. BEN: (exhausted) Yes, Sam. You are.

SAM: No, Ben, I’m not.

FR. BEN: You’re really going to make me say it?

SAM: Say what?

FR. BEN: She never wanted kids, Sam. It wasn’t in the cards for her. It was never in the cards for her, and her reasons for that are entirely her own. But you were so convinced that a good Catholic wife had to be a mother. You made her feel like her worth as a woman entirely depended on bringing new life into this world. Wouldn’t let her hear the end of it.

SAM: I’m not proud of that.

FR. BEN: Good. Because you shouldn’t be.

SAM: And you are? You sanctimonious prick. The success of your whole job depends on your vow of celibacy. And you had no problem with throwing that out the window when the first confused woman stepped into your office. You reprehensible pig, you disgust me.

FR. BEN: As I’ve already said, I am not proud of every decision I’ve ever made. But I am proud of the way that I’ve moved on.

SAM: That’s rich!

FR. BEN: (defensively) I have! I’ve been tested, certainly. And I’ve failed that test. But I’ve moved on to a new town and a new congregation, and I’ve done everything in my power to serve them in the only way that I know how. And I know for a fact that you, on the other hand, are still desperately clinging to the past.

SAM: You really are the biggest blowhard I’ve ever met in my life.

FR. BEN: At least I haven’t spent the better part of two years refusing to sign my divorce papers! Or telling the woman that you ostensibly love more than anyone else in the world, that she’s just having some kind of mental breakdown. And that if she’d just listen to you, and her parents, and come home, that everything would be okay again. That it would be all some kind of blip that you could pretend never happened in the first place.

SAM: I knew it. I knew the two of you were fucking again. I just needed to hear you say it for myself.

FR. BEN: Sam, you have no reason to believe me. And I know that. But I can assure you that we’re not.

SAM: You aren’t, are you?

FR. BEN: No. We’re not.

SAM: (furious) I can’t believe you won’t just tell me the goddamn truth. After everything we’ve already been through. Why do you still have to stand there and lie through your teeth?

FR. BEN: Where is this even coming from? 

SAM: (deep breath) It’s funny that you should ask.

FR. BEN: And why’s that?

SAM: Well, I was at Binghamton’s A of A chapter the other day, when I met this real interesting guy. Brett Servidone, his name was? 

FR. BEN: Brett is a member of this congregation, yes.

SAM: Oh, trust me I know. The man has a lot of really colorful things to say about you. Calls you a bleeding heart leftist who thinks it’s your primary purpose to disassemble the traditional American family structure, and replace it with some radical socialist dystopia. Swears that you’re turning the entire congregation against him and the rest of Texarkana’s A of A chapter. Or at least, you tried to, until Bishop Marino stepped in.

FR. BEN: And what’d you think of all of that, Sam?

SAM: A load of reactionary bull shit. Certainly. You know that, regardless of any of my failures, that I don’t subscribe to that Eagle News nonsense. No. That wasn’t the thing about Brett’s visit that caught my attention.

[SFX: There’s a loud, decisive thunder clap, before we hear the sound of a wheeled cart full of metal folding chairs being pushed across a concrete garage floor.]

BRETT: I can’t thank you all enough. You’re really a lifesaver now, Sam.

SAM: Oh, it’s no problem at all. I know you guys are only just getting that space opened back up.

BRETT: Gosh, and what a beautiful space it is. Did you hear that we have two bowling lanes now? You and the rest of your chapter should really swing by. We’ve got a nice little league going. Brand spankin’ new shirts and everything.

SAM: I’ll be sure to pass along the invite.

BRETT: Remind me, what’d you say your last name was again?

SAM: Inwood.

BRETT: I thought so. Would you happen to know an Olivia Inwood?

SAM: (caught by surprise) I do. She’s my wife.

BRETT: Huh. She didn’t seem like the marrying type, when we worked with her.

SAM: You worked with her?

BRETT: Sure did. She’s been assisting a local private investigator in Texarkana. We hired them to look into the fire at our building. To see if there was a case to be made for arson.

SAM: Damn. Sounds intense. Did they figure it out?

BRETT: Ahh, no. She and our Supreme Admiral had some… differing opinions on how the matter should be handled, so we had to let them go. The case is still cold.

SAM: And, Brett, if you wouldn’t mind saying again… what was that priest’s name? The one who’s been giving you and Roger all the trouble up there.

BRETT: Ben. Ben Moynahan.

[SFX: There’s another giant clap of thunder as we return to the booth.]

SAM: So imagine my surprise, when I found out the town where my wife now lived, just so happened to be where you’d transferred? God. You make me sick.

FR. BEN: I—Look. I understand why your imagination would go there, but I’ve got nothing to hide. Olivia and I are just friends. 

SAM: Friends, eh?

[SFX: Sam reaches into a bag and takes out a ream of paper. He flips through it, before continuing:]

SAM: What’s this I see here? One… two… five… No. Seven calls between the two of you in the last month alone.

FR. BEN: Good friends. Still just friends.

SAM: Who calls their friend at 7:30 in the morning? Hmm? And talks for seven minutes? With a follow up call, what’s this… another eight minutes after that? Is that how long it takes you to answer a booty call, Father?

FR. BEN: Heh, she had a doctor’s appointment that morning, and you know as well as I do Olivia says the phone ringing is better than her alarm clock… but I can’t imagine she’d be happy to know that you’re screening her calls.

SAM: Well then maybe she should have gotten a new phone plan. It’s not my fault she’s too lazy to do anything but send me half the bill every month.

FR. BEN: Still. The way I see it, you’re not entitled to that information any longer.

SAM: Actually, I am. As the account holder.

FR. BEN: I’m not sure what you want from me right now, Sam. I really don’t have anything else to say to you, other than the fact that I am sorry. And that I hope you can find it in yourself to move on from all of this. To give Olivia the grace she deserves.

SAM: Maybe I could, if you’d just stop lying to my face.

FR. BEN: There’s clearly nothing that I can say or do to change your opinion of me. But maybe instead of paying me a little visit, why don’t you try answering Olivia’s phone calls? Sign the papers. Let it all finally be over.

SAM: But why though, Father Ben. Why couldn’t she choose me?

FR. BEN: Because you wouldn’t let her choose her. Ever. Pushed the pregnancy issue nonstop. Negated her arguments about the cost of childcare by asserting that she could just quit her job.

SAM: She hated that job!

FR. BEN: Of course she hated that job. But that wasn’t the point.  You know that Olivia always wanted more. To be occupied. To be with purpose.

SAM: And you’re saying she’s found that, here? In your stupid little town with her stupid little job, which, from what I’ve heard, includes harassing local members of the community, and even assaulting a man? That she’s somehow better off, living in a crappy duplex above her office, feeding her boss’s stupid parrot, and stalking cheating husbands? That’s rich. Of any development, through all of this, that she’s decided to be a private investigator, whose very job is to dig through the mess of someone else’s mistakes? That’s hilarious. Her parents think so too. She’s just confused. And you aren’t helping her.

FR. BEN: No, I think you’re not helping her. With all of this control you’re still trying to exert over her life, even though she’s told you again and again that it isn’t the one she wants anymore. You need to let this go. You need to move forward. To find something to look forward to. And leave your ex-wife to do the same.

SAM: Fuck you, asshole. 

FR. BEN: I’m sorry, Sam. I really am. But I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

SAM: That’s not very pious of you, Father. Asking a man at his rock bottom to leave the house of God? What would the Bishop think?

FR. BEN: Good bye, Sam.

[SFX: Ben stands, opening the curtain on his side of the booth, and walking away. As he does, we hear the tell-tale sounds of him writing out a text.]

FR. BEN: We have a problem.

[END OF EPISODE]