Episode transcript - “going away to college”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Forgive Me! Season 4, Episode 4: Going Away to College

[SFX: The curtain opens as Lisa sits herself down, on the verge of tears. She takes a few deep breaths before she’s willing to speak.]

FR. BEN: Good afternoon. Is everything alright over there?

LISA: (something caught in her throat) Oh, Lord, I promised myself I wasn’t gonna cry.

FR. BEN: (knowing) Hey, Lisa. It’s nice to hear your voice, though I didn’t think confession was really your kind of thing.

LISA: You’re not wrong, Father. But these are special circumstances. I’m about two seconds away from breaking down, just about every minute of every day, and trust me: you don’t need to see that.

FR. BEN: It’s that time of year for a lot of the moms and dads in this town, isn’t it?

LISA: (deep sigh) I suppose it is.

FR. BEN: That’s definitely not to say what you’re feeling is any less valid. It just… happens a lot this close to the end of your kid’s senior year.

LISA: How the hell has it already been eighteen years since I had my baby boy? It feels like just yesterday we were dressing up in matching Ninja Turtles bandanas while we ate heaping soft serve cones over at Bodie’s. Now, it’s like he doesn’t need anything from us.

FR. BEN: Now I’m sure that just isn’t true. Even if it feels like it sometimes.

LISA: I mean, of course we still put food on the table, and make sure there’s a place for him to store all his crap, but sooner than later that room’s gonna be empty and there’ll be a lot more tv dinners in the fridge than fresh fruits and vegetables.

FR. BEN: I think you’re overestimating the size of a college freshman’s dorm room.

LISA: You know what I meant, Father.

FR. BEN: I know, I know… I’m sorry. Bad joke.

LISA: (actually managing a light chuckle) I appreciate you, so much, you know.

FR. BEN: Oh, stop.

LISA: No, I’m serious. I know the whole thing was a bit silly, and his recreational habits surely haven’t changed much, but speaking with you that first time? It kind of set Mitchell on a better path. It wasn’t long after then that he kind of figured out his passion in a real way. 

FR. BEN: He did, did he?

LISA: He did! He absolutely loves being in the kitchen. It started with just baking, for his little special brownie business, but before long he was ditching anime for documentaries about Michelin-starred restaurants and trying to perfect his steak technique...

[SFX: A large pot is bubbling on the stove top. Energetic pop punk music plays in the background as Mitchell peels potatoes.]

LISA: Ooo, what have you got going on here, honey!?

MITCHELL: Don’t touch that, mom!

LISA: (playful) Relax, I’m just checking to see if I need to add any salt or pepper to whatever it is you’re making…

[SFX: Lisa picks up the pot lid and takes a whiff as we hear the boiling water louder.]

LISA: Is that my New York Strip… in a vacuum sealed bag… in a pot of boiling water?  That’s an awful expensive cut of meat if all you’re gonna do is boil it.

MITCHELL: (exasperated) First of all, that’s not your steak. Yours is safely tucked away in the fridge, where you left it. I bought this one. And it’s a sous vide, mom. All the restaurants do it, now, and I need to know how to do it too.

LISA: My son, a fancy pants cook, who would’ve guessed? 

MITCHELL: Chef, mom, I’m a chef! 

LISA: Aren’t they the same thing?

MITCHELL: (grumbling) Can you just get out of here? I want to make sure I do it right.

LISA: Alright, alright. What time’s dinner?

MITCHELL: Didn’t you just hear me? This isn’t your steak. Raven’s coming over.

LISA: What’re your father and I supposed to do, starve?

MITCHELL: I don’t know! It wasn’t my turn to feed you. Now get out of my kitchen!

[SFX: Mitchell playfully whacks his mom on the side with a wooden spoon as he pushes her out the door. The sound of the kitchen fades as we return to the confessional.]

FR. BEN: I certainly can’t take credit for that. I just gave him a non judgemental ear, is all.

LISA: No, Ben. I mean it. His dad and I do our best, but teenagers aren’t always super quick to see their parents as real people. Certainly not as people who have lived through what they’re experiencing, or could offer legitimate advice. You gave him somebody to look up to. Confide in.

FR. BEN: The two of you should be proud of yourselves, for raising a young man as kind as your son. 

LISA: We are, but it’d maybe be a little nicer if we’d raised him a little less well. I’m not ready for him to leave yet. Why can’t he still be that little boy that needs me to tie his shoes and cut the crusts off of his tuna fish and pickle sandwiches? 

FR. BEN: (smiling) You sound like my mom, right before I went off to seminary.

LISA: Did you want to get away from her as badly as Mitchell is begging to get away from us?

FR. BEN: Aw, I’m sure that’s not true.

LISA: It sure feels like it.

FR. BEN: Why do you think that is?

LISA: (sigh) Look, when I found out he’d gotten into St. Bill Hunter’s culinary program, I was really excited. But then he got offered a paid summer internship with a really fancy catering company out in Rochester. And Mitchell? He was just… so excited by the whole thing. Never mind the fact that he’d already interviewed to work in the kitchen at the home… We were going to be coworkers! Eat our lunch together every day. 

FR. BEN: Oh. 

LISA: I said no. That he couldn’t go.

FR. BEN: I see.

LISA: Don’t you go judging me over there, too.

FR. BEN: I didn’t say a word.

LISA: Your tone sure did.

FR. BEN: Well, Lisa. I understand that this is a delicate situation. And that you and your husband, as Mitchell’s legal guardians, have the final say in a matter like this one. Only… you said it before. He’s 18 now. If he wants to go, he doesn’t really need your permission…

LISA: Now you’re starting to sound like him.

FR. BEN: I’m not trying to take sides here, I just want to acknowledge the reality of the situation you find yourself in.

LISA: It just isn’t fair, Father.

FR. BEN: What isn’t?

LISA: That after all this time… after everything I’ve done for that boy, he’d still rather be as far away from me as humanly possible. 

FR. BEN: I’m sure that’s not true at all. Besides, Rochester isn’t really all that far from Texarkana—

LISA: Okay, sure, so maybe I’m exaggerating. I know an hour and a half isn’t that far, but it’s the principle of the thing. This year, he’s spent all of his time either at Burger Bro’s, or with that little Macintosh girl of his, or doing god knows what out with his friends. He’ll barely look us in the eye on his way out the door, let alone say goodbye.

FR. BEN: So?

LISA: Excuse me?

FR. BEN: (chuckling softly) Lisa, I’m going to say something to you, and I hope you’ll forgive me the bluntness, but you’re being a little dumb right now, and I think if you’d stop for one second and try to look at the situation from Mitchell’s perspective, you’d realize that.

LISA: I’m not following you.

FR. BEN: My mom raised me better than to ask a woman her age, but I can’t imagine you were his age all that long ago. Can you remember what things were like with your mom and dad, that close to graduation?

LISA: (stubborn) Now, now, this has nothing to do with that.

FR. BEN: It doesn’t, does it? So, if I had Mitchell call your mother up, and asked how often the two of you spent time together during your senior year, she’d say what?

LISA: (deep sigh) That she never saw me. That I couldn’t get away from her fast enough.

FR. BEN: And what’s your relationship like now?

LISA: We talk on the phone every day. Sometimes twice.

FR. BEN: I rest my case.

LISA: I know that it’s normal… I’m just not ready.

FR. BEN: But is he?

LISA: Of course he is. I raised him.

FR. BEN: Besides, what’s so bad about Rochester? You can go out there to bug him all the time!

LISA: It’s not the whole city that’s my problem. It’s her. She’s why he even got the internship in the first place. 

FR. BEN: And she is?

LISA: My sister. Cindy. She lives out there. And the two of us get along about as well as oil and water.

FR. BEN: Ah. Now your hardline stance about the whole situation is becoming a bit more understandable. But tell me, in as much or as little detail as you’d like, what your problem with Cindy is?

LISA: I never said I had a problem with her. She’s the one who’s got a problem with me.

FR. BEN: I think all siblings have at least one problem with each other. My brother and I certainly do.

LISA: Now, I just don’t believe that. I mean, you’re so forgiving! I’ve never met anyone more patient and apologetic than you.

FR. BEN: Let’s just say it took me a while to become the man I am today, and leave it at that, shall we? You’re the one we’re here to talk about.

LISA: (laughing) I know a good deflection when I see one.

FR. BEN: So do I.

LISA: Cindy. Cindy, Cindy, Cindy…

FR. BEN: That’s her name, yes. I’ve gathered as much.

LISA: I’m proud of my sister. She’s a strong woman. A woman who has always been up for trying new things, and has never been afraid to fail. She’s lived a million different lives in a million different places, and she’s got a million different fun stories about all of them, so I get why he looks up to her! But he only sees the cool artist smoking Birmingham Chubs and wearing ripped Gentle Mascs t-shirts while painting self portraits, not the unstable mess who always gets what she wants, no matter how much it hurts the people who depend on her.

FR. BEN: (knowing) It’s not easy to feel that our contributions to our parents’ well-being so often fall to one of us. That our siblings who chose a life away from here, even if that life is just over in Rochester, leave so much of their care up to us.

LISA: I shouldn’t resent her this much. I know that my mom doesn’t want me to, but…

FR. BEN: Say no more. Klem told me a bit about what happened with your mom. You have every right to feel whatever way you do about this situation. I’m not here to tell you that you’re wrong to have your reservations about Mitchell living with Cindy, but fundamentally: do you think he’d be in any danger staying there for the summer?

LISA: (sighs) No. Of course not. She loves him more than anyone on this planet. I know that much. Those two? They’ve been two peas in a pod since he was born. She was only fifteen then, our parents’ own “happy accident,” so we got to have her as a built-in babysitter.

FR. BEN: That’s really sweet.

LISA: (softening) It is. Sometimes, when he was really little and I worked nights, she’d take him to his parent teacher conferences. And when she found out that there was a kid in class who’d been picking on Mitchell for wearing little colorful neckties to school, she was ready to throw hands. 

FR. BEN: Our aunts and uncles are often our fiercest protectors.

LISA: I get that, but Mitchell was only in first grade. It was not the appropriate reaction to have to the situation.

FR. BEN: Even so, it sounds like Rochester might actually be pretty good for him, after all. I mean, I’ve had parents here whose kids were trying to sell them on using their college funds to convert an old Sprinter into a mobile home so they could, and I quote, live that #vanlife.

LISA: I guess things could definitely be worse.

[MID-ROLL AD BREAK]

FR. BEN: So… you said no to Mitchell about the internship. What did your husband say?

LISA: Rod said yes. Of course he did. Granted, Mitchell asked him while omitting the key fact that I’d already said no, but still. Now I’m the bad guy.

FR. BEN: I can’t imagine that conversation was easy.

LISA: There really hasn’t been one. Once Mitchell pitted us against each other, I… I’m not proud to admit it, Father, but there’s been some yelling. I’ve been sleeping on the couch.

FR. BEN: Isn’t that typically a husband’s job? I mean, I know I have no partner, but I’ve certainly seen enough movies in my time to know how these situations usually go.

LISA: Well, in my house, the person who causes the problem gets kicked out of the bed. Not the other way around. And as much as Rodney’s laid back, best friend dad behavior drives me up the wall, I can come to terms with the fact that I was the one acting out. 

FR. BEN: I applaud your self awareness.

LISA: Don’t applaud me too much. I’m still being pigheaded. But it just isn’t fair. He goes to her with everything. His first major knock down, drag out fight with Raven? That warranted a phone call to Cindy. And when he made his first perfect souffle, after weeks of hilariously sunken, failed attempts? Cindy was the person who got to have the first bite.

FR. BEN: How does Rod feel about all of this?

LISA: He loves my sister just as much as my son does. He worships the ground she walks on because she spent two summers as the touring guitar tech for Disparate Brew. Never mind the fact that I had to send her my entire bonus check to cover bail after they had a rowdy night out on the town. The stories, he says. He can’t get enough of her stories.

FR. BEN: I take it you have plenty stories of your own, of things you never got to do because you were too busy bailing her out? 

LISA: It’s not even that, Father. I’m not jealous of my sister’s adventures. Hell, I think it’s cool that she’s gotten to go on them. But, I’m also proud of the woman I am. Sure, am I a bit of Type-A over-controlling mess? Absolutely. But I’ve also worked my ass off to have this life. To hold the position that I do, at an organization that I believe in, to be able to earn enough to send my son wherever in the world he wants to go, to become the man that he’ll get to be. Cindy couldn’t do that. Cindy wouldn’t. So why the hell does she get to enjoy the fruits of my labor? Why does she get to swoop in and offer him the cool, trendy job instead of the stable, if a little unglamorous, one that I got him?

FR. BEN: I mean, Lisa, you just said it yourself. Loud and clear. The answer to your own question.

LISA: I did, did I? And what is that?

FR. BEN: Cindy doesn’t have a son of her own. Mitchell doesn’t have a cousin. And I’m not going to pretend I know your sister, or what the future holds for her, but from what you’ve said so far, I highly doubt that that’s in the cards.

LISA: She’d have tied her tubes already if she could’ve.

FR. BEN: Exactly. And she’s been a big part of Mitchell’s life, for as long as he’s been around, yes?

LISA: (begrudging) Yes.

FR. BEN: So, it sounds to me like she just wants to give him every opportunity in the world to chase after his dreams. And that, my friend, is the mark of a good aunt.

LISA: But now I’ve got to call up Kevin at work and let him know he needs to hire somebody else for the kitchen staff this summer.

FR. BEN: So?

LISA: My son made a commitment. He went in for an interview dressed in his Sunday best and everything. And now I’ve got to take it back for him.

FR. BEN: No, you really don’t.

LISA: I’m not going to let my son be a no call, no show on the first day of work at my own nursing home!

FR. BEN: I’m not suggesting that, either! Your son is a man, now, in the eyes of the state. Even if all you can remember is him twirling around the kitchen as a toddler with plastic nunchucks. Mitchell can call Kevin and let him know that he appreciates his time and offer, but that he can no longer accept it. That’s his responsibility. Not yours.

LISA: (sigh) I guess you're right. I just thought it’d be good for him. To save up some beer money before he went away to school. So he wouldn’t have to get a job for his first semester.

FR. BEN: Your kid is the hardest working teenager I’ve ever met in my life. He’s gonna be just fine. Besides, you’ve seen his passion for the kitchen. Do you think he’d rather be pureeing fish and chips at the old folks home, or working in a high-end kitchen gaining the real experience he so desperately wants?

LISA: (laughing) Yeah, the food at Shady Oaks does leave a bit to be desired, doesn’t it? 

FR. BEN: If you can trust Klem, which I’m not exactly sure I can, the food at Shady Oaks is unfit for even David Steadman, who, if you didn’t know, is a literal house pig.

LISA: Hah! I’m well aware of who David Steadman is, Father. He’s a Texarkana celebrity at this point. And I certainly know that you’re right about Mitchell… and I know that I’m gonna let him go. But it’s hard not to get frustrated by all this stuff. I just want to be closer to my son. Like Cindy is. Even if she does have to play the cool aunt card to do it…

FR. BEN: I’m sure it’s not as bad as you say.

LISA: Father, you and I both know full well my kid’s… extracurricular activities. I did my best to try and build up a boundary there, but he’s stayed out of any serious trouble, and genuinely uses them to hyperfixate on the things he cares about. So I stopped giving him too much guff, but I haven’t even told you the worst of it…

FR. BEN: Is everything okay?

LISA: The last time Cindy was visiting, we all went out to family dinner with Rod and Mitchell and Raven and even Lou, this woman she’s seeing, all on her dime mind you, which she made a whole big deal about. But then afterwards, instead of playing Decks Opposing Mankind together at the house like we’d all agreed at the restaurant, Cindy, Lou, and the kids disappeared down into the basement. And when I went to find them…

[SFX: Energetic punk music plays in the background again. Followed by the sound of a bong bubbling.]

CINDY: I’m so glad that Estebong is still treating you well after all this time!

MITCHELL: (trying to hold in his smoke) He’s the best.

RAVEN: He really, really is. There’s nothing like spending some time with our pal Este and watching anime.

MITCHELL: (exhaling) He just makes the colors pop.

LOU: I know exactly what you mean! Your aunt and I have had a few Estebong-assisted Baduto marathons in our time.

[SFX: The bong is passed and we hear the sound of another heavy, bubbling rip. The music still plays, so none of the stoners notice as Lisa descends the steps.]

LISA: (yelling as she enters) Mitchell…? Cin…? Where’d you guys go?

CINDY: (coughing heavily, letting out her breath) Hey sis…

MITCHELL: (not trying to hide it) Hey mom!

LISA: (to her sister) Really? You do this, under my roof, with my son?

MITCHELL: Aw mom, c’mon, lighten up.

CINDY: Yeah, Lees, it’s legal. You can’t even narc on me anymore.

LISA: Not for him it isn’t!

CINDY: He’s eighteen years old!

LISA: The legal age is 21!

MITCHELL: Guys, chill. Mom, you’ve said it yourself a thousand times. If I can carry a gun for this country, I should be able to smoke a bowl or drink a beer too.

CINDY: Oh you do, do you? That’s not what I remember you thinking when I turned 18!

LISA: It’s not my fault I had to basically raise you!

LOU: (to Raven) I think you and I need to go for a walk and let these three talk.

RAVEN: I’ve never heard a better idea in my life…

[SFX: Raven and Lou leave the room.]

CINDY: Here we go, ready to be a martyr again? Remind me of how much my entire existence fucked up your life? Go ahead. I’ve heard it all before.

LISA: (ice cold) You’re lucky he’s still in here or I’d smack you in the face right now.

MITCHELL: Mom, chill!

LISA: I will not chill, Mitchell. And the two of you will not do this under my roof again, or there will be consequences. And I mean it.

CINDY: That’s fine with me. It suddenly got really stuffy here anyway. I’ll give you a call later, kid.

MITCHELL: Don’t go, Cindy! Raven and I have been really enjoying getting to know Lou…

CINDY: It’s alright, hon. I know when I’m not wanted.

[SFX: Cindy storms off. Mitchell scoffs at his mother, before following her himself. Lisa, left alone, hits the bong… and then lets out a little sobbing cough as we shift back to the confessional.]

FR. BEN: I mean…

LISA: What? 

FR. BEN: (sigh) It’s your home. You have every right to have whatever rules you want, and to contradict them whenever you want, too. But I’ve gotta be honest with you, you’re not making a real big case for why Mitchell should be closer with you than Cindy…

LISA: Well, that’s just downright mean.

FR. BEN: No, I’m serious. Take five seconds to look at it from your kid’s perspective. This young, cool woman that you look up to is sharing something illegal with you, in the safety and comfort of your own home. And then here comes your mom, storming downstairs and having a cow about it.

LISA: I never said I stormed.

FR. BEN: I have an overactive imagination. Sue me.

LISA: What else would you have had me do? She was giving my son drugs.

FR. BEN: Oh, please, Lisa. Is it maybe a little shady that she gave the kid some weed, sure, but it’s better that she be around to supervise than let them go off and experiment with such things by themselves, isn’t it?

LISA: I suppose…

FR. BEN: Look, I get why you’re mad at your sister. And I get why you’re a little jealous of her too. But if I can make one, small, tiny suggestion. A behavioral change that might sound a bit shocking to you when you hear it, but that could really have avoided this entire blow up.

LISA: I’m all ears.

FR. BEN: Next time your sister visits, and she disappears with your kid and their girlfriends into the basement, and the music gets a little loud, and the smell of pot smoke starts to trickle through your registers… instead of going down and doing whatever you did to confront them…

LISA: (sheepish) I took away the bong, sent everyone home, and hid it. Made him clean the entire basement before I gave it back to him. Told him I never wanted to see it again.

FR. BEN: Instead of all that, maybe you just join them instead?

LISA: Father! I can’t believe you’d suggest that.

FR. BEN: I mean, your kid isn’t wrong. Besides, if I remember correctly, he isn’t the only one that enjoys a funny brownie from time to time… Maybe your kid would want to hang out with you more if you sank down a bit and met him on his level, rather than expecting him to rise to yours.

LISA: I’m gonna kill Father Klem.

FR. BEN: You might, if you keep giving him all those sweets I see you showing up with every time you come to mass.

LISA: Maybe I could loosen up a bit. 

FR. BEN: The passage of time will make that happen for you no matter what. But if you’d like to get closer a little faster, that’s my best suggestion on how to do it. Everything else is up to you.

LISA: You were supposed to make me feel better about my behavior, Father. Not worse.

FR. BEN: I’m not supposed to do anything but listen, dear.

LISA: Thank you, again. For doing that. I appreciate you. More than you know.

FR BEN: Oh, I have an idea. But it’s certainly still nice to hear you say it!

[MUSIC: Forgive Me! End credits music begins to play.]