Episode transcript - “ultimate benji”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Coming up on Season 4 of Forgive Me!

[SFX: The confessional opens and closes between every episode clip.]

FR. BEN: (serious) There are… things that I know about your husband that might change your opinion of him. And while it certainly isn’t my job to judge the man, just to sit and serve as a conduit as a person unburdens themselves to the Lord… I’m still entitled to the opinions I have.

SHARON: (knowing) Oh. You’re talking about the fire.

FR. BEN: I understand that you were trying to deescalate the situation, Isabel, but I’ve gotta be honest, I don’t quite get what you thought you were going to accomplish when you started impersonating a dead woman.

ISABEL: An out, Father! I was looking for an out! 

FR. BEN: You had a sound designer move into your basement while your wife was entering her third trimester?

TOM: (sputters) Oh, well, come on it was only for three weeks.

FR. BEN: And then here comes your mom, storming downstairs and having a cow about it.

LISA: I never said I stormed.

FR. BEN: I have an overactive imagination. Sue me.

MARINO: Father Ben, I’m going to share with you a few hard truths, ok?

FR. BEN: Sure, (shrugging tone) you’re the Bishop.

MARINO: First, that’s correct I am the Bishop. You might think this is your parish but you are renting it from ME. So you can roll your eyes at me telling you how things are but as long as you live in my house, you follow my rules, got it?

FR. KLEM: Looks like that last screw finally got loose..

MARINO: What was that?

FR. KLEM: Uh… well… I said this speech is giving me quite the… boost?

FR BEN: What do you believe in?

DANA: I believe that people wear different faces for whatever suits them in the moment. That they’re just trying to figure out how much they can get away with. I’ve worked enough hospitality jobs to know that people are pretty terrible. 

FR BEN: They can also be wonderful. 

DANA: Yeah, they can hold a bunny gently with all the love in their body. And then the next day tell a kid they’re going to hell for drawing a flower in their bible. 

AMBER: I cast Minor Illusion. I conjure the image of a huge haunch of decaying meat – like, it has a green tinge to it and there are multiple clusters of writhing maggots.

FIONA: Jesus…

FR. BEN: I’m obligated to say “language,” but my heart’s honestly not in this one.

FR. KLEM: (coddling) Oh Benji, nihilism doesn’t look quite as charming on you my boy.

FR. BEN: (laughing) Not about that. Well kind of about that… I mean… I know I'm not going to get that asshole to see it my way. So why try?

FR. KLEM: See now that sounds a lot like nihilism

FR. BEN: I’m not going to stop trying at all. If anything I’m gonna go full Ben this year.

ADAM: Forgive Me returns for its penultimate fourth season this Fall. Catch up on the whole series now before it returns.