Episode 1.05 transcript - “An Important man”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Forgive Me! Would not be possible without our generous parishioners. 

(MUSIC: Bouncy keyboard music plays.)

We’d like to thank LeeAnn Patrick for leading our youth group’s first ever cosplay workshop. The children wanted to dress up as their favorite hero SUPERJESUS. I’m not sure if the Pope would approve of SUPERJESUS’ laser eyes, but … uh ... well they loved it, so we approve!

(SFX - A huge round of applause, children cheering.)

A huge shoutout to Leslie Gideon for hosting a listening party of her new show, The Path Down. We’re not quite sure why you had to teach the kids so much about the Inferno at a Church Meet Up, but they sure loved it!

Become a part of our community over at patreon.com/roguedialogue.

(MUSIC: Our intro organ music plays.)

(SFX: Footsteps approach. The confession door opens and closes.)

(MUSIC: Bouncy, happy sounding music plays.)

WALTERS: (CLEARING HIS THROAT) Good morning, Father Ben.

FR. BEN: Good morning.

WALTERS: It's... Justice Walters.

FR. BEN: (STARTLED, ACTING LIKE HIS BOSS JUST WALKED IN) Oh! Hello Justice Walters.

WALTERS: How are things going father? Settling down a bit after a couple months I hope.

FR. BEN: Yes, your honor, it's been a busy couple months but I have really enjoyed getting to know everyone in the parish. And, you and the rest of the parish council have been a great help with that.

WALTERS: Well good. I'm still waiting on your proposed agenda for the next meeting. I believe I've mentioned I like to review these at least a week in advance?

FR. BEN: Absolutely. I'll have it to you tomorrow so you'll have whole coming week to review.

WALTERS: Thanks, that will do fine.

(MUSIC: The song fades out as an awkward silence creeps in.)

FR. BEN: (CLEARS THROAT) Justice Walters?

WALTERS: (AS IF SURPRISED TO BE DISTURBED FROM THE AWKWARD SILENCE) Yes?

(MUSIC: The bouncy strings, drums, and marimbas return to score the scene.)

FR. BEN: Pardon me if this is a silly question but, are you here for confession?

WALTERS: I did climb into this confessional didn't I?

FR. BEN: Of course, sorry with the conversation we were having and I've never seen you for this before I just... um, never dfmind again, sorry.

WALTERS: Thank you Father, though I have to say your observation isn't completely unwarranted. I'm an upstanding member of this parish but I am afraid this specific sacrament is one I've not done my best to keep up on.

FR. BEN: Oh! Completely understand, this can be an uncomfortable experience for a lot of people. Do you need guidance on getting started? 

WALTERS: No, that won't be necessary. I think I have a pretty firm grasp of the concept.

FR. BEN: (AWKWARDLY INTIMIDATED) Yes, sorry again, uh, of course sir. Shall we begin?

(MUSIC: The song ends abruptly.)

WALTERS: (CLEARLY HESITANT, SIGHS) Alright. Forgive me father, for I have sinned, it's been 25 years since my last confession.

FR. BEN: That is a long time, your honor. What brings you here today?

WALTERS: You know Father, I appreciate you showing me respect, and outside of this room I'd expect that would continue. But given our current... dynamic... I'd appreciate it if you'd call me Joe.

FR. BEN: Oh... well OK... sure, whatever feels right to you. What is it that brings you in, Joe?

WALTERS: I have decades of failings I could recap here. Still, for the most part, I've been able to manage myself well through the years. You see Father, I am a decent man, loyal to the church and a good citizen. Whether behind the bench, or here as the head of our council, I've worked as a leader for my entire adult life. There haven't been many situations where I've had the need to formally confess.

FR. BEN: How do you mean?

WALTERS: I'm always in the process of, ultimately, doing God's will, and I know the Lord sees and understands this. And before you say anything, I know you have a tendency towards youthful overreaching, so please spare me any speeches on the value of regular confession.

FR. BEN: Understood, it seems like your subconscious is giving that speech for me anyway… So, Joe, what would you like to confess, today? What brought you here after 25 years?

WALTERS: As I said before, this isn't a sacrament I take lightly and one I don't require unless I see it as necessary. I say this so you know I'm taking my actions very seriously.

FR. BEN: Understood Justi.. Joe. It shows your seriousness that you are here with me now. Now please, tell me your sins.

WALTERS: Well. I'm afraid I am no longer being faithful to my wife..

(SFX - An awkward silence creeps in.)

WALTERS: Father?

FR. BEN: Yes, yes, I see… So what happened Joe, when did the infidelity start?

WALTERS: Well, it began about 5 years ago. Do you know my daughter, Emily?

FR. BEN: Yes.

WALTERS: Then I'm sure you've encountered her husband, Tom.

FR. BEN: Sure, I've met Tom.

WALTERS: Of course you have. I'm sure he'd be a fan of yours given your... sensitivity.

FR. BEN: And I take it you see that as a bad thing?

WALTERS: Not per se, just different. Please don't take offense, Father, I'm only making an observation.

FR. BEN: Noted. Please continue.

(SFX: The sound of a car driving, pulling up.)

WALTERS: Well, 5 years ago was when Emily moved back home. Not to our house, but an apartment nearby. Darla and I were over the moon. Emily is our only child and we couldn't be prouder parents. She really is such a talented and driven woman, not that Darla and I would raise any less.

(SFX: The car door opens and closes. We’re outside and hearing the sound of the outside world.)

FR. BEN: Of course not.

WALTERS: But much to my surprise, when she arrived to move in, she wasn't alone. We met her at her apartment and there was Tom lazily watching as movers carried their things into their apartment.

FR. BEN: You hadn't met him before?

WALTERS: No. Never. And suddenly I'm here confronted with this... individual... wearing cargo shorts and a novelty t-shirt with his hand in my daughter's back pocket. So I did what any self respecting father would do and, instead of sitting there and making a scene, I removed myself from the situation. I drove right off without bothering to greet either of them.

(SFX: Footsteps return to the car, turn the key in the ignition, and drive off without fanfare.)

FR. BEN: You just left?

WALTERS: Of course I did, I wasn't going to be made a fool of. Darla was in the car with me then. I'll never forget her turning to me and in a voice I'd never heard her use saying:

DARLA: What the hell are you doing?

WALTERS: That's where it all began. We had this apocalyptic fight in the car. I remember driving aimlessly as we shouted at each other.

DARLA: I’ve known about Tom for months!

WALTERS: She'd even spoken to him before.

DARLA: He seems like a nice guy!

FR. BEN: Why didn't she tell you about him?

DARLA: She was too afraid to tell you about him! Obviously with good reason.

WALTERS: Which, I have to say, was pretty astute of her.

FR. BEN: I take it you'd rather make these decisions for her.

WALTERS: It's not that... it's just, she's always been a perceptive person, even if she isn't the best judge of character when it comes to who she spends time with. But anyway, yes, Darla hid this from me at Emily's request. Which is nonsense. Emily has a good head on her shoulders. But it isn't as if she's some friend, she's our daughter.

FR. BEN: How did her keeping this secret make you feel?

WALTERS: I couldn't believe she'd hid this from me! And when I explained that, Darla kept saying:

DARLA: You know, you’re proving her point right now. You’re acting like a controlling ass! And I swear, if she moves away again after this? I will never forgive you for it.

WALTERS: As if I was the reason Emily decided to up and move to DC for college in the first place. I'm still wounded me she did that to us, we have connections at every private college within 100 miles from here. We're talking hundreds of thousands lost because our 17 year old wanted a new experience. And my wife calls me controlling...

(SFX: The sound of the idling car disappears. The tone of the confessional booth returns.)

FR. BEN: (IMPATIENTLY) So your wife stood up for your daughter 5 years ago and you got in a fight. You're saying that drove you to betray your marriage?

WALTERS: That fight BECAME our marriage, Ben. It's wonderful Emily's been a more frequent fixture in our lives, but there's a tax to that and his name is Tom. He's a lazy, overly-emotional child. No work ethic, ambition, or any intelligence to speak of. He is exhausting and it's only gotten worse since they eloped.

FR. BEN: I take it you wouldn't have been supportive of their marriage?

WALTERS: Darn right. She knew full well that she wouldn't get a dime out of me for that farce.

FR. BEN: Telling.

WALTERS: After that first fight, I made a deal with Darla that I wouldn't take my frustration out on Emily and would be cordial with her loaf of a partner. And even with that, it's basically become a tradition that, when Tom comes by with Emily, you can be certain the moment they pull out of the driveway Darla and I will have it out.

FR. BEN: Emily and Tom are married, Joe. Why are you still fighting about it?

WALTERS: You need to understand that Darla and I have always been on the same page about everything. And if we aren't at first, she comes around eventually. Only with Tom is she so unwavering. It's almost as if she thinks she's his mother. Meanwhile it kills me to stand by and watch my daughter waste her best years on this black hole of a person. When you differ this much on the most important thing in your life, it creates distance. You understand?

FR. BEN: (ANNOYED BUT HUMORING HIM) Sure Joe, so what happened?

(SFX: Gentle noises from a home start. Cupboards opening, dishes moving around.)

WALTERS. Right, so soon after they moved back, Darla and I essentially ceased talking around the house whenever Emily wasn't around. A spare polite word here or there but nothing more. As you can expect, the intimacy followed suit. I know my wife is there, I know the person I love is still in her, but she's impossibly far away at this point.

FR. BEN: You don't you think you've had a hand in creating some of that distance?

(SFX: The room tone disappears again.)

WALTERS: That's nonsense. I'm telling you this so you understand that I have been emotionally and physically alone the past 4 years. Up until about a three months back, around the time of the doughnut festival...

(MUSIC: Street musicians begin to play a jovial carnival song.)

WALTERS: The one where Fr. Klem had his heart attack? Well, the doughnuts were actually provided by this amazing local baker, Lexi. I had to coordinate the purchases for the event and met with her about the specifics Klem wanted.

FR. BEN: I take it Lexi is the person you've been seeing?

WALTERS: (GUSHING) She's incredible Ben, she built this business from the ground up. So strong willed and independent, it's delightful just to listen to her talk. Her doughnuts have actually gotten national attention.

(MUSIC: The song distorts and deteriorates over the rest of the sentence.)

WALTERS: Have you heard of this website Buzzfeed?

FR. BEN: (INTERRUPTING) Ok, Jesus Christ Joe, cut the bullshit.

WALTERS: (SHOCKED, OFFENDED) What did you just say?

FR. BEN: (SARCASTICALLY) I'm sorry, that was disrespectful. I meant cut the bullshit, your honor.

WALTERS: Who the hell do you think you are!

FR. BEN: Do you honestly expect me to sit here and take your confession about your mid life crisis with a nice small business owner?

WALTERS: What's wrong with you?! I'm leaving.

(SFX: Joe’s seat moves back and he stands to leave.)

FR. BEN: No you're not! Sit down Joe.

(SFX: Joe closes the door again and sits back down.)

FR. BEN: Good, thank you. I'm sorry I that I cursed but Joe you need to own up to your mistakes. You're sitting here blaming your son-in-law because you're sleeping around on your wife.

WALTERS: I'm not blaming him. But he is part of why this happened. Our marriage was perfect before he showed up.

FR. BEN: Do you hear yourself? You're not confessing anything! You're sitting here trying to absolve yourself. I get that you're self-important, Joe, but please leave this sacrament to the professionals.

WALTERS: Seriously, where do you get off talking to me like this?

FR. BEN: Do you know how many men come in here to "confess" their infidelity and then blame their wives, or jobs, or kids for the whole thing?

(MUSIC: A single solitary synth note begins to drone.)

FR. BEN: Joe, get over yourself. Your sins are bigger and started earlier than when you met Lexi. You're showing Darla, your wife, absolutely no respect. And frankly it sounds like you maybe never did.

(MUSIC: More notes creep in.)

WALTERS: Oh you think you understand my marriage after all of 5 minutes?

(MUSIC: A keyboard begins to play chords underneath the conversation.)

FR. BEN: I think, it's hard for me to consider anything more contemptuous than you writing your wife off for respecting the wishes of your daughter. It is unbelievable to see how much your pride outweighs the love you have for your family.

WALTERS: What do you want Father? To cut me down and have me reconsider everything I've ever done? You want to see an important man crawling on his knees? You want me to become this sensitive, gentle, subservient husband thanks to the enlightening wisdom of a young, but sage beyond his years priest?

FR. BEN: You're being sarcastic, but it might do you some good.

WALTERS: Son, it's my responsibility to be the leader of my household and part of that is to push my family, and especially my daughter, in the right direction. But don't worry Father, as I said, nobody listens to me anymore. The inmates are running the asylum now!

(MUSIC: A dissonant note creeps into the melody, over everything else, before the melody returns.)

FR. BEN: That's a revealing analogy.

WALTERS: Oh come on, you know what I meant.

FR. BEN: It seems like you're trying to control your family.

WALTERS: No, no, no. Look, it's my job to make sure everything is OK, but I only expect them not to make that harder than it has to be. It doesn't mean they aren't their own people.

FR. BEN: Why is that your job?

WALTERS: What?

FR. BEN: To make sure everything is OK?

WALTERS: I'm the head of this family. You can be progressive as you want, but some things just don't change.

FR. BEN: Yeah, that's pretty clear.

WALTERS: (FED UP, FRUSTRATED) What do you want from me father? I'm sorry I cheated on Darla. It was wrong, I regret it every day.

FR. BEN: Do you?

WALTERS: Yes Father, this is killing me! I'm at my wits end. Clearly we don't see eye to eye but I do care about my wife and know what I've done is wrong. I want to fix this.

FR. BEN: Well are you still seeing Lexi?

WALTERS: Yes.

FR. BEN: You have to stop. Have you told Darla?

WALTERS: No.

FR. BEN: You have to…

WALTERS: I know that I should. But I won't.

FR. BEN: Why not?

WALTERS: (SOMBER BUT A LITTLE PANICKED) I know you'll say she deserves to know this. That, if I respect her, then I'd tell her. That in a marriage I promised my wife and God to be faithful and since I broke that bond I need to own up to it and whatnot.

FR. BEN: It sounds to me like you know what you should do. Own it.

WALTERS: I am owning it, here, but I don't think it's fair to put this on Darla. I love her, I do. She and Emily are my world. When Tom showed up that was... disrupted. I've let it change how I view my family. I've been disrespectful to them, you're right about that. But I can't blow up my life.

FR. BEN: (SIGHS, AUDIBLY FRUSTRATED STILL BUT COLLECTED AND BACK TO THE TASK) As far as the church goes, Joe, you actually have me pegged wrong. We Catholics don't exactly have a strict guideline around whether a cheater like you should confess. I can say in this context that I understand your concern, but I think you're still missing the point. So I personally think you should tell Darla what's been going on.

WALTERS: Why? What point am I missing? I'm owning this. I'm here confessing, I'm going to end things. Doesn't that solve it?

FR. BEN: Even the reasons you have for not wanting to confess are selfish, Joe. Its not about respecting or shielding Darla, it's about protecting yourself from her ability to decide what to do with you now. Emily and Darla deserve a lot more than what you're giving them. You need to stop holding back the people in your life.

WALTERS: Excuse me?

FR. BEN: If you can't confess to what you did, so be it. But unless you can get it together enough to allow you daughter the space to choose who she loves and respect your wife's decision to do the same... you might as well rip the band aid off now because it is coming off eventually.

(SFX: There’s an awkward beat of silence.)

FR. BEN: (LETTING OUT A DEEP BREATH, BECOMING SLIGHTLY MORE UPBEAT) Alright, so for penance..

WALTERS: We're done?

FR. BEN: For now, I hope you'll let me know how you get on, but the ball is really in your court now, your honor.

WALTERS: Alright.

(MUSIC: The song slowly fades out and becomes a single droning note.)

FR. BEN: So penance, I think it's pretty simple. Respectfully end things with Lexi and never speak to her again.

WALTERS: Is that penance?

FR. BEN: It is today. Beyond that I think it's up to you, but I hope however you move forward you take a bit more care to appreciate and lift up the people in your life.

WALTERS: Alright, Father.

FR. BEN: And one more thing?

WALTERS: What's that?

FR. BEN: Try and find a couple of things in common with your son-in-law. You don't have to love the guy, but he's in your family now whether you like it or not.

WALTERS: I'll do my best with that one.

FR. BEN: Fine. Do you remember the act of contrition?

WALTERS: I… might need help with a word or two.

(MUSIC: A somber, post-rock version of the end music from the previous episodes plays; played in a minor key with electric guitar.)

WALTERS: Alright father, thanks for... this.

FR. BEN: Sure, hope we talk soon.

(SFX: The confession door opens and closes.)

OLIVIA: Oh, I…

WALTERS: (OUTSIDE OF THE CONFESSION, SLIGHTLY MUFFLED) Oh, excuse me, sorry about that.

(SFX: The confession door opens again. Olivia breathes heavily for a moment.)

FR. BEN: Hello?

(MUSIC: Stressful, pulsing music begins to play. Staccato strings and a booming drum hit.)

OLIVIA: (SURPRISED) Holy shit Ben, It really is you.

FR. BEN: (PANICKED) Olivia? How in the hell did you find me?

OLIVIA: Come on Ben, is that how you talk to an old friend. You didn't exactly go into witness protection.

FR. BEN: Olivia, I don't know what you're thinking...

OLIVIA: What? I found out you might be here and I wanted to see for myself! You just up and disappeared..

FR. BEN: (USING A TONE TO TRY AND DEESCALATE OLIVIA'S VOLUME) Look I, I'm sorry but this isn't the time or place. I know you understand the risk you're putting me in by showing up here...

OLIVIA: Ben I... you're unbelievable. What happened to you? Why did you do this to me?...

(MUSIC: The song slows down, but doesn’t lose any of its intensity. Keyboards drive the beat. Eventually, a much faster melody is overlaid over it.)

OLIVIA: Look, I didn't come here expecting anything but answers. I'm not going to mess up your little rebound church, but you know you owe me that much. Can we go somewhere else to talk? It feels creepy talking to you through a screen like this.

(MUSIC: Guitars are layered in.)

FR. BEN: Sure, follow me.

(MUSIC: The song swells, becoming more intense, before stripping down again and ending on a solitary, stressful note.)

ADAM: Wow! That was really dramatic… uh, I wonder what’s gonna happen with Father Ben!

(MUSIC: Our end credits music creeps in.)

ADAM: Forgive Me! is a Rogue Dialogue production. It was written and directed by Jack Marone and Bob Raymonda.

Sound design, mix, and score by Me! Adam Raymonda.

Here’s our cast: 

Michael Larkin Justice Walters

Casey Callaghan Father Ben 

Sarah Rhea Werner Darla

All of the graphic design comes from Sam Twardy.

If you enjoyed the show, we’d appreciate it if you’d share an episode with your friends and family. Justice Walters may not want you to be telling everyone about his literal secret affairs, but we absolutely do! 

We’d it if you gave the show a rating or review on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser. It helps bring new ears into the confessional with us. 

You can reach out to us on social media platforms by following @forgivemeshow

We’ve got one more episode planned for this season. The team at Rogue Dialogue have a lot more stories to tell with both this show and our other podcast Windfall. The only way we can do that is financial support from our generous patrons over at Patreon.com/roguedialogue

By becoming a patron you’ll get access to notes from our directors, mini episodes, as well as a shoutout at the top of an episode! We have a goal to hit 100 patrons so that we can guarantee that we can pay our actors and crew to make more episodes of our shows. You can help propel us towards that goal by pitching in even $1 a month, join us over at patreon.com/roguedialogue! 

No matter what, listening to the show is always free and we sincerely appreciate you listening! We’ll be back in 2021 (oh my gosh we finally made it out of 2020, can you believe it? Uh!!)... anyway yeah,  we’ll be back in January 2021 with our season finale. See you then!

(MUSIC: The song comes to an end as a singer calls: Oh won’t you forgive me?)