Episode transcript - “FREE DAVID”

ADAM RAYMONDA: Forgive Me! Season 3, Episode 8: Free David.

 [SFX: A car drives up a dirt road before coming to a stop. Ben unbuckles his seat belt and lets himself out. Outside, we hear the warm night air. A grill is turned on and meat is sizzling. People chatter amongst themselves before:]

SYDNEY: Father Ben, I’m so happy that you were able to join us!

LUKE: With such perfect timing too! I’m just getting the grill fired up. You prefer a burger or a dog?

FR. BEN: Thank you both for inviting me. A hot dog would be great.

LUKE: You’ve got it. Coming right up.

LIZZIE: Can I grab you a drink, Ben? I’m just about to crack open a beer myself.

JACOB: (quietly) Another one? Really? We just got here half an hour ago.

SYDNEY: C’mon! Let your wife live a little, Jacob. Besides, I seem to remember you saying you’d DD tonight when you got here anyway.

JACOB: I did say that, didn’t I?

LIZZIE: (smiling) I can already tell I’m gonna like this one. 

SYDNEY: Hey, while you’re over there, can you grab me one too?

FR. BEN: (sensing the tension) A beer sounds perfect, Lizzie. I’ll take whatever’s cold.

LIZZIE: That’s my guy!

[SFX: Lizzie digs into the cooler next to her and rustles around in the ice, grabbing three bottles and opening them in quick succession. Jacob sighs lightly in the background.]

FR. BEN: (taking a sip of the offered bottle) Tom and Emily couldn’t make it?

LUKE: No, they called ahead and let me know they’d be a bit late. Said something about having trouble getting David ready?

JACOB: (ecstatic) Oh my god, David’s coming?!

SYDNEY: I didn’t know they had any children. That’s great! I’m so excited we’ll have a friend for Archie.

LIZZIE: David’s not their son.

SYDNEY: (confused) Are they babysitting?

FR. BEN: (chuckling) No, no. David’s their pet pig.

SYDNEY: Oh! That makes more sense.

JACOB: But don’t you worry one bit. I’m sure he’ll be a wonderful friend to Archie! He’s just the sweetest, funniest boy I’ve ever met.

LUKE: (still tending the grill) Yeah, honey, my bad. I forgot to mention to you I told them they could bring their pig.

SYDNEY: The more, the merrier! It’ll be good to see what it’s like for an animal on this property of ours.

FR. BEN: Speaking of, this is a beautiful parcel of land you’ve got here. How many acres did you say it was?

LUKE: (beaming) Fifty! And we still haven’t had a chance to explore all of them just yet. I was hoping, once we’ve had our fill and Tom, Emily, and David got here, we could take a tour before the sun goes down.

JACOB: Sounds great to me!

LIZZIE: I think I’ll sit this one out if you wouldn’t be too offended. I’ve been on my feet all day.

SYDNEY: Not at all! You can keep me and Archie company.

LIZZIE: I’d love to!

JACOB: (joking) Don’t get any ideas, honey. I’m not ready to be a stay-at-home dad just yet.

[SFX: Everyone chuckles as another car pulls up and comes to a stop. It takes a moment before any of the doors open, but as soon as they do, David comes bounding out onto the property and immediately begins rolling himself around in a patch of dirt.]

EMILY: I’m so sorry we’re late! It’s been a minute since we’ve taken David on a field trip.

TOM: Yeah, the last time he left our yard, I could still pick him up! Now he’s the one that can manhandle me.

LUKE: Nonsense. There’s no such thing as being late to a barbeque!

SYDNEY: Especially not when you’ve graced us with such a special guest.

JACOB: (standing and running towards the pig, using a cute voice) David! I was so happy to hear you were going to be here!

LIZZIE: (fake embarrassed) I promise, he was excited to hang out with all of you, too.

LUKE: Trust me, I’m not offended. I was mostly looking forward to meeting the pig myself! (beat) Now, who’s hungry? This first batch is ready!

[SFX: Everyone shares a good laugh as Luke begins to serve them.]

FR. BEN: Tom, Emily. I’m so glad you were able to make it.

EMILY: Same to you, Father!

FR. BEN: Please, just call me Ben, I’m taking the night off. Father Klem has been on my case about having some time for myself these days. 

TOM: I wasn’t gonna say anything, but it’s a bit weird to see you without the collar.

LIZZIE: Right?! I was thinking the same exact thing!

EMILY: Tom. JACOB: Elizabeth.

TOM: What?! LIZZIE: What?!

SYDNEY: Relax, you two! We were all thinking it.

FR. BEN: (laughing, heartily) Don’t worry. It’s weird for me too.

[SFX: As they all settle into their seats around a picnic table for their meal, a radio in the background gets louder. The song briefly drowns out the conversation and time shifts forward. When it fades, we’re left with Luke, Ben, Tom, Jacob, and David, who are walking through the fields.]

LUKE: … And this is where I plan on putting in our Macintosh crop. Everybody’s got their favorite apple pie apple, but in my experience, you just can’t beat them.

TOM: I don’t know, man. I’ve always been a big fan of honey crisp.

JACOB: I’ve gotta go with Tom on this one.

FR. BEN: What? There’s no love for a classic red delicious?

[SFX: Everybody stops walking for a second. David snorts happily.]

LUKE: Tell me you’re freakin’ jokin’, Father.

FR. BEN: No! They’re the first thing that comes to mind when I even think about an apple, let alone pick one up in the grocery store.

TOM: Red Delicious apples taste like what sadness feels like.

[SFX: David lets out a comical huff.]

JACOB: (still petting David) These guys get it! 

TOM: Hey, be careful over there bud. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were buttering up my pig to try and steal him out from under me.

JACOB: Don’t tempt me!

[SFX: The whole group begins to laugh as they continue walking in the night air. Somewhere in the background, grasshoppers chirp.]

FR. BEN: I didn’t know this was such a controversial opinion!

LUKE: (smiling) Don’t beat yourself up, pal. Only among us true connoisseurs. For the layman, red delicious are always gonna be the most classic apple there can be…

JACOB: I blame cartoons.

TOM: They really do always make them look so damn perfect, don’t they?

JACOB: They do! But once you get an actual bite of one, it’s like chewing on a fruit-shaped eraser. 

LUKE: (sigh) They certainly sell, though, which is why I’m putting that crop in right… (beat as they walk a bit further) here.

FR. BEN: (laughing) Then you’ve got my business! 

JACOB: How do you know so much about apples, anyway?

TOM: Yeah, what sent you down this wild path to give up your steady career in exchange for an empty plot of land and a whole lot of dreams?

LUKE: (with pause) Well, funny enough, I worked at my family’s cider mill back in Binghamton.

FR. BEN: That’s right! The Double Oak Farm! Father Antonio and I always loved going there the second the leaves began to turn.

JACOB: You’re telling us you left your family’s apple farm… to start one of your own?

TOM: There’s gotta be a story there. Is this some kind of oedipal drama? 

FR. BEN: Oedipal drama, Tom, really? I’m sure Luke had his reasons, but I doubt it had anything to do with that.

LUKE: (chuckling) No, it certainly didn’t. 

TOM: I was just pulling his leg!

LUKE: It’s alright. It isn’t a long story. I grew up on the family farm. Lived and breathed nothing but apple season for decades, but as I got older, I started to get some funny ideas about what we could do to improve the business. Ideas my dad didn’t take incredibly kindly to.

JACOB: Such as?

LUKE: Using the infrastructure we already had to brew and develop our own small-batch hard cider recipes.

TOM: Your dad’s an old teetotaler, then?

LUKE: You could say that… but that’s enough about the past. If you’d all be so kind as to walk with me just a little bit further here, you’ll see the real reason we had to buy this property the second we laid eyes on it.

[SFX: Fr. Ben whistles as they walk and takes another swig of a beer that he’s been carrying with him.]

JACOB: Hey Tom!

TOM: Yes?

JACOB: Does David know how to fetch?

TOM: (bitter) Well… he does, but only when he feels like it. And mostly for Emily. But go ahead — give it a shot.

[SFX: Jacob picks up a stick from the ground and throws it into the distance with a strained breath.]

JACOB: Fetch, David!!

[SFX: David takes off running, snorting happily as he goes.]

TOM: I’ll be damned.

FR. BEN: That is one fast pig.

[SFX: After another moment, they catch up to David, and cross through one last patch of grass before:]

LUKE: Tada!

JACOB: Wow.

FR. BEN: Is that St. Pat’s I can see? From all the way out here?

TOM: Yep, this is one of the highest points in the valley.

FR. BEN: I can see why you picked this place, Luke.

LUKE: Right? I just… this is all gonna take a ton of hard work, years of it. Probably even longer, with Archie in the picture now but… I just—I saw this view and I knew: this is where I have to chase my own destiny. 

[SFX: David huffs over to them and rolls over onto his back, belly up.]

TOM: If you ask nicely, I’d bet David’ll help you with some of that work.

LUKE: Is that so? Well, you tell David that if he helps? He can eat his weight in apples once we’ve grown ‘em.

TOM: Deal!

FR. BEN: And we’ll help too, isn’t that right? Jacob? Tom?

TOM: Now, I wouldn’t go that far…

JACOB: Honestly, I’d do anything to get me out of the house and away from my sister-in-law.

[SFX: They all share a laugh again before going quiet to take in the view.]

LUKE: Alright, c’mon, let’s back and check on what kinda trouble the girls have gotten themselves into.

[SFX: The chirping of the grasshoppers takes over as they begin their walk back. A happy tune begins to play again as we shift back to Emily, Lizzie, and Sydney’s perspective.]

EMILY: (bouncing Archie on her knee) Now, aren’t you just the most precious beautiful boy in the world, Archie? Yes, you are! Yes, you are!

[SFX: Archie coos as Sydney and Lizzie crack open two more bottles of beer.]

SYDNEY: You’re amazing with him. Usually by now, when anyone’s holding him except for Luke or me, he’s screaming his little head off.

EMILY: My mom has always called me the baby whisperer.

LIZZIE: What a gift!

SYDNEY: Have either of you thought about having one of your own?

EMILY: Yeah, ever since I was a kid. But it just hasn’t been the right time yet. Lord knows I’ve got my hands full enough as it is, living with Tom and David!

SYDNEY: And Lizzie, what about you?

LIZZIE: (laughing awkwardly) Not in the cards for us. We share a house with my sister and her kid, so I get all the baby time I could ever want in the world and none of the mess. 

SYDNEY: I’m surprised! You’d be such a good mom.

LIZZIE: Would I though? I mean, really? I’ve got so many things I’ve always wanted to achieve like writing a trashy romance novel under a ridiculous pen name or getting super good at ping pong, but having a kid? It’s just never been one of them. Because as much as I love hanging out with my nieces and nephews and making them laugh, I just think I’m ultimately too selfish to give that much of my future over to one of these adorable little parasites… no offense, Archie.

SYDNEY: (laughing) He can’t speak yet, but if he could, I’m sure he would say none taken. Honestly, though, if you’d asked me that question even two years ago? I would’ve said something very similar. I worked my ass off to get tenure as young as I have. Sure, SUNY Binghamton’s no Yale, but still—teaching at an academic level is all I’ve ever wanted to do. So what time would I ever find to be a mother? Luckily, though, I found myself a partner who was looking for any reason he could to stay home, so things just kinda worked out. 

LIZZIE: Wait, you teach at Binghamton? Didn’t you just move here from there? Why the long move?

SYDNEY: When Luke and I saw the property, we just fell in love with it right away. We took one look at it and knew we could build something really special here.

EMILY: The commute doesn’t bother you? I hate driving.

LIZZIE: Yeah, I’ve gotta say, being able to roll outta bed at my alarm and be at the store in under 10 minutes is one of the biggest perks of the job.

SYDNEY: (chuckling) Naw, I kinda like it, to be honest. I’m an early bird anyway, and I’m a big podcast fan, so I use the drives to catch up. Right now I’m obsessed with this incredibly weird little show about an obituary writer called Death by Dying.

EMILY: Sounds pretty morbid.

SYDNEY: Yeah, it kinda is. But it’s also hilarious. I’ve been marathoning it nonstop. I have no clue what I’m gonna do when I run outta episodes.

LIZZIE: Have we got a closet emo kid on our hands?

SYDNEY: (laughing) Look, my favorite bands aren’t not Panic! At the Disco and My Chemical Romance, okay?

LIZZIE: Who can blame you for loving the classics?!

EMILY: Yeah, seriously. That’s just what I call good taste.

[SFX: Archie lets out a little coo, and then a fussy little cry. Emily takes a few sniffs.]

EMILY: Annnnd, that’s my cue for the end of baby duty!

SYDNEY: (smiling) Hand him over. Mom to the rescue!

LIZZIE: (in a baby voice) Aw, Little Baby Archie made a big baby doody!

[SFX: Sydney briefly disappears into the house with Archie, the screen door bumping shut after her.]

EMILY: You’d think I’d be used to cleaning up poop living with a literal barn animal, but changing a diaper? That’s one thing I’m definitely not looking forward to.

LIZZIE: Honestly? The diapers are the easy part. Sure, it’s a bit tough to figure out how to get their little squirming bodies to cooperate at first, but once you get it down to a science, it’s a piece of cake. When my nephew was still his age I could change him in 15 seconds flat.

EMILY: Woof, all the power to you. How old were you at the time?

LIZZIE: Baby Ricky’s… god, he’s seven now. So I was seventeen at the time.

EMILY: Jealous! I could never get any babysitting gigs at that age. All my friends who did it made the big bucks, or, you know, whatever the equivalent of the big bucks is when you’re seventeen. I always got stuck bussing tables for pennies at the Ruby Thursdays.

LIZZIE: Hah! You’d think, but when the baby you’re sitting came out of your broke sister’s womb, you’ve gotta do that gig for free, and you’ve gotta do it with a smile.

EMILY: Ouch, I didn’t think of that. How is Janelle?

LIZZIE: Naw, it’s okay. He was always a good little shit. No matter how bad things were, whether it was my boyfriend cheating on me or when I failed pre-calc, Ricky just knew how to make me smile. All he had to do was make one of those adorable faces babies make when they’re about to drop a gnarly duke to do it. And she’s good! Thanks for asking.

EMILY: (laughing) Seems like all that free labor still did something good for you then.

LIZZIE: It definitely did! I called it poop camp at the time, since Riley had enlisted that year and wouldn’t shut up about how hard boot camp was.

EMILY: (awkward) That definitely sounds like your brother. What’s he up to these days?

LIZZIE: He’s around. Did a couple of tours overseas before eventually moving back and getting a job at the Hartwick selling dental insurance. He’s bored as hell, but the stability’s good for him. The Marines… did a real number on him.

EMILY: I’m glad to hear he made it back okay.

LIZZIE: Me too… He still talks about you, you know.

EMILY: (sighing) I’ve been meaning to reach out. It’s just never been quite the right time…

[SFX: The door opens and closes as Sydney rejoins them. We hear the crackle as a baby monitor is turned on.]

SYDNEY: I don’t know what it is, but pooping tires that boy out.

[SFX: Emily and Lizzie both laugh as David comes bounding up, snorting happily.]

EMILY: What’ve you got there bud? Big giant stick?

TOM: (approaching, sighing) Count Jacob as another person that this big lug’ll go fetch for that isn’t me.

LUKE: He did it for Father Ben and I, too!

TOM: Eugh, don’t remind me.

FR. BEN: What can I say? Your pig’s got good taste.

JACOB: He most certainly does!

LUKE: Honey, I know we said no pets until Archie’s a little bit older, but— 

SYDNEY: We are not getting a pig!

LUKE: But you can train them to be truffle hunters! Do you know how much you can charge per gram of those things?

SYDNEY: (sighing) Yes, dear. You’ve lectured me on the apparent value of the fabled Northeastern truffle, but I hate to break it to you: they’re not native to this region. You can grow them if you plant a row of hazelnut trees, but you can’t just adopt a pig and hope you’ll find them.

[SFX: Jacob, still glued to David’s side, pets him while he snorts happily.]

JACOB: I don’t know, you’d be pretty surprised by the amazing things this guy can do already, without any training!

LIZZIE: (teasing) What did I tell you? David tagging along was going to convince all the men here that they need to go home with a new, person-sized-four-legged friend!

EMILY: I like to think David’s one in a million. 

TOM: Yeah, one in a million farts is more like it!

FR. BEN: I can attest to that. I’m still trying to forget the bombs he dropped last Thanksgiving.

EMILY: Hey! It’s not his fault you keep feeding him so much pepperoni. You know that’s murder on his digestive tract.

LIZZIE: That’s incredibly dark.

SYDNEY: Who are you to judge? We’re all disciples of Cold Culture here.

[SFX: Sydney, Lizzie, and Emily all begin to laugh. Grasshoppers chirp in the background. After a moment, Luke shivers and rubs his hand together.]

LUKE: Gosh, I’ve lived in this state my whole life, and I’ve never gotten used to how quickly it gets chilly once the sun goes down.

SYDNEY: You want me to light a fire, babe?

LUKE: Sounds good to me, if it sounds good to everybody else? I think we’ve got some s’mores stuff leftover inside, too.

FR. BEN: You two are far too kind. That sounds delightful.

LUKE: Great, I’ll go get it!

[SFX: A peaceful song undercuts the moment. Luke goes inside while Sydney begins to pile some logs in the fire pit. Shortly, a fire is crackling and they all sit around it peacefully.]

SYDNEY: Is everybody okay? Does anybody need another drink?

FR. BEN: Nonsense, you’ve both done too much already. Let me grab the next round. Everybody having one?

LIZZIE: (relaxed) Sign me up! 

JACOB: Yeah, why not? I’ll be fine to drive if I just have the one.

EMILY: That’s it for me for the night. It’s Tom’s turn to let loose. 

TOM: Aw, thanks honey.

EMILY: But a bottle of water would be great, if you wouldn’t mind?

TOM: Here, Father, let me help you.

FR. BEN: Thank you, Tom!

[SFX: Tom and Father Ben rustle through the cooler and return with open drinks for everyone. The fire crackles and for a moment there is a calm silence as they each enjoy their beverage.]

LIZZIE: (letting out a satisfied breath) There’s just something about fire that’s so relaxing, isn’t there?

JACOB: Yeah, as long as it’s controlled, that is. I still can’t believe what happened the other day. Right in the middle of the Donut Festival, too.

LUKE: You thinking about what happened over at the A of A?

SYDNEY: I wonder if they ever figured out who did that, anyway.

EMILY: They haven’t, as far as I know, but you know what I say? Good riddance. It’s about time that place had a fresh start.

FR. BEN: (choosing to ignore that comment) From what I’ve heard, the fire marshall is fairly certain it was an unfortunate grease fire. No foul play.

LUKE: That guy who was shouting at you afterward, though, he certainly didn’t seem to think so. 

TOM: Oh gosh, don’t get me started on that asshole. He’s made it his life’s mission to figure out what happened to that building. I saw him while I was out walking David the other day, and as we passed his front porch, he looked at us like we’d kicked his dog or something.

JACOB: Yeah, it’s like: dude—chill, you know the town’s gonna rebuild your precious clubhouse. So you’ll have to bowl at the alley downtown like the rest of us for a few months. Cry me a river.

LIZZIE: There was a bit more to that place than that though. It’s been an institution around here for so long.

EMILY: Too long if you ask me. 

LIZZIE: Be careful, Em. It’s no secret that you haven’t been a fan of the A of A since we were kids, and I don’t blame you for that given their history of bullshit. But you wouldn’t want to sound suspicious, would you?

TOM: (tense) Are you accusing my wife of something, Lizzie?

FR. BEN: Now, now, everybody. It doesn’t do anyone any good to point fingers and gossip about something that was, more likely than not, a simple act of God. But, should that not be the case, I’m positive the proper authorities will be able to get to the bottom of it, the Lord willing. And correct me if I’m wrong, but that doesn’t include a single one of us around this fire, does it?

TOM: You don’t really believe that, though? Do you?

FR. BEN: Excuse me?

TOM: That they’ll find the arson if the Lord wills it? I mean, forgive me if I’m overstepping, but you’re among friends here. You don’t really believe in all that old man with a giant white beard sitting on a throne in the clouds mumbo jumbo, do you?

EMILY: Tom! 

TOM: What!?

FR. BEN: (chuckling) It’s alright, Emily. Your husband’s not saying anything I haven’t heard before.

TOM: I genuinely do not mean any disrespect. I just never took you for a biblical literalist.

SYDNEY: Yeah, I’ve gotta admit, I’ve known you a whole lot longer than Tom here, and I never did either.

FR. BEN: I never said that. But I do have faith in the Lord and His will, yes. I’d be pretty bad at my job if it were otherwise, don’t you think?

LUKE: C’mon, guys, there’s gotta be something better for us to talk about here. The Father, excuse me, I mean, Ben even said it himself when he got here. He’s trying to take the night off for once.

FR. BEN: Naw, Luke, it’s okay. I don’t mind having the conversation.

EMILY: You really don’t have to do anything that makes you uncomfortable, Father.

FR. BEN: (ignoring her) Tom, I would be lying if I told you right now that there’s never been a point in my life where I’ve questioned my faith. Belief is a funny thing that way. Especially when so much of it surrounds an ancient text that, some people among us, will try and preach as unequivocal fact. But even if we fully removed the scripture from the equation, my relationship with God is the same as it’s been since I was a boy attending weekly mass with my mother. I’ll never expect any other person on this planet to have the exact same level of devotion as I do, nor do I think that I’m any more or less connected to God than them either. I just know my path because He knows it, and for me? That’s enough. What do you believe?

TOM: (unsteady at first, but more sure of himself as he goes on) I’ll admit it: I don’t really buy into the whole God thing. I wasn’t raised Catholic, and I certainly wouldn’t be a part of this community if it weren’t for my marriage to Emily. But even with all of that, I can see the value in it. There’s good that it’s done for the people in my life, who fully subscribe to their belief in the Lord. But there’s just… so much wrong in this world that I can’t wrap my head around God allowing to happen. Let alone forgive or forget. So I just have a kinda hard time grappling with all of that.

SYDNEY: I can empathize with you there, Tom. I mean, I was raised Catholic. Went to Mother of Mercy from the time I was born, went through my baptism and confirmation. Had my wedding under the same crucifix where my mother and father were married before me. But the more I’ve moved my way through adulthood, the more books I’ve read and cultures I’ve learned about, I’ve always had to wrestle with this idea of what makes our Bible any more right or true than the rest of them? And why have we had to kill so many people over these last several thousand years arguing about it?

JACOB: When I was a kid, back home, there weren’t any other options. You went to church on Sundays, and sometimes even on Wednesdays too. You spent your time as an altar server and you lit a candle for your loved ones that had passed away and you went to confession if you stole a Iron Brew bar from the market. I never questioned if any of it was real or true because it was just so ingrained into what life is. And since moving here, as hard as it’s been in a lot of ways? The thing that’s kept me grounded has been going to St. Pat’s with Lizzie and her family. So I guess I just don’t really need to know if God is real or not because the comfort I get from all of you is enough for me.

LIZZIE: (oddly touched) That’s so beautiful, honey. I never knew you felt that way.

JACOB: (sheepish) You never asked.

LIZZIE: I mean for me, St. Patrick’s is just another thing I’ve inherited from my folks, without ever wondering if it was actually for me. Don’t get me wrong, I love being a part of the community, too. And God knows what the hell else there would be to do in a town this small on Sundays without it? But if I’m fully, 100% honest with myself for a moment and with all of you? I probably wouldn’t keep going if I weren’t so fucking terrified of disappointing my parents all the time. I mean, really and truly? Sundays for me? Should be for drinking beer, eating greasy snacks, and watching football. No offense, Father.

FR. BEN: (chuckling) None taken, I promise.

EMILY: I mean, if you really want to go there, I guess I’m in the same boat as you. I go to church because that’s just what you did in my family. But when I went away to college for the first time? I flirted with the idea of being an atheist. I got drunk on Saturdays playing wizard staff at parties with my friends and I slept in as late as I could on Sundays as a way to rebel against my overbearing dad. But after a few months, I realized something was feeling wrong. And when I eventually found my way over to the small services they held on our campus, it was apparent what I’d been missing. Maybe my relationship with God’s about nothing more than the comfort I receive from the weekly routine of it? But for me, that’s enough.

LUKE: I like that a lot. I actually had a pretty similar path myself. As the boys here know, my dad and I haven’t always quite seen eye to eye, so I spent a few years in my late teens and early 20’s practicing literally anything else. I even became the joke of the family when I bought myself a copy of Buddhism for Dummies and started trying to convince everybody that that was the religion for me. But then my grandma passed away and I gave a eulogy during her service, it felt like this hollow part of myself I had been spending so long trying to fill finally felt right again. And I haven’t missed a mass since.

FR. BEN: I’m terribly sorry for your loss, Luke. I remember your grandmother. She was a good woman.

LUKE: Thanks, Father. That means a lot to me.

FR. BEN: You know, as I sat here listening to each of you say your piece, I realized all over again that we all have our own, individual relationship with the Lord, and there’s no incorrect way for that spirituality to manifest. At any given point He can be a comforting answer, or… a confounding question, or the promise of one reliable routine in a lifetime of chaos. And isn’t that kind of beautiful, in a way? That we can all come together as a community with a hundred different definitions of what it means to believe and still find common ground despite that?

SYDNEY: When you say it that way? It really is…

FR. BEN: (sad chuckle) Would you look at that? Even when I try my level best to take a night off from the cloth, I find myself in facilitation mode. (deep breath) I told Klem that coming out here to spend the evening with all of you didn’t feel right, but he wouldn’t hear it. Insisted it’d do me some good to put away my bible for once, and yet here I am, making a nice Friday night among friends all about G-O-D. It figures, though, I’ve never really been cut out for hanging around with folks my own age, even when I was a kid…

EMILY: That’s nonsense, Father, we love having you around.

TOM: And if you think about it, I’m the reason we went down this rabbit hole in the first place, not you!

FR. BEN: (clearly bummed out) It’s alright, you two. I’m used to it.

[SFX: The group goes silent again for a few moments as the fire begins to burn down. Sydney stands to throw another log on it.]

SYDNEY: Annnnd on that note, can we do literally anything else?

LUKE: I couldn’t agree more. What about a game?

LIZZIE: Oh, I know! Let’s play Never Have I Ever!

EMILY: I could get behind that.

[SFX: David snorts happily.]

JACOB: David and I are in!

TOM: I could think of worse ways to bring some life back into the room, as it were.

EMILY: We’re outside, Tom.

TOM: You know what I meant!

LUKE: What do you say, Ben?

FR. BEN: (chuckling as he stands) Naw, you all enjoy yourselves. I think I’ll sit this one out.

[SFX: Everyone groans and boos.]

SYDNEY: Okay, pal. As long as you’re sure. Thank you so much for coming all the way out here.

LUKE: Yeah, we really appreciate you helping us make so many new friends like this.

FR. BEN: Don’t even mention it.

LIZZIE: Have a good night, Father. But don’t think you’re getting outta Never Have I Ever the next time we all hang out!

JACOB: Yeah! David’s so curious about you! Isn’t that right, David?

[SFX: A sleepy David snorts one more time.]

FR. BEN: I’m just gonna have to leave you all, including David, in suspense for now…

[SFX: The whole group laughs as Ben crosses the yard to his car. Melancholy music plays as he drives away.]

[MUSIC: The song “Michele” by Kevin Alexander plays over the credits.]

ADAM: Forgive Me! is a Rogue Dialogue production. This episode was written and directed by Bob Raymonda and Jack Marone.

Here’s our cast in order of appearance: 
Lauren Shippen  Sydney
Zach Valenti Luke
Casey Callaghan Fr. Ben
Julia Schifini Lizzie
David Pellow Jacob
Caroline Mincks Emily
Derek Emerson Powell Tom

Script editing by Jordan Stillman.

Dialogue Editing by Bob Raymonda.

Sound design, score, and mixing by me,  Adam Raymonda.

This episode featured the following songs:
“Naturally” by Lily LaBlanc
”Brian” by Adam Lopez
”NYC” by Doug the Band
”Laser” by Tiny Eyes
”Control” by Olken”
”Neverending” by Molly’s Way

And finally, the song you’re hearing now is ”Michele” by Kevin Alexander.

All of the graphic design comes from Sam Twardy.

Season three of Forgive Me! Would not be the same without our Executive Producer Curtis Dibrell Jr.

Find out what we’re up to by following @forgivemeshow on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter

This season we’ve got a 13-episode Patreon-exclusive series called Confessions with Klem! Our Patrons will get a glance into the secrets of the St. Patrick’s community with everyone’s favorite witty nihilistic Priest.

In this week’s episode we have a crossover with our friends over in Two Flat Earthers Kidnap a Freemason wherein Josh Rubino’s Ghost of Sir Isaac Newton has a chance meeting with Josh Rubino’s Father Klem:

NEWTON: It is said that Pythagorus — upon making a great discovery — exclaimed “Eureka” and then sacrificed one-hundred oxen. Now… say I did that?

KLEM: Did what?

NEWTON: Hypothetically, say that I, Sir Isaac Newton, after having a great discovery, shouted “Eureka” and then I slaughtered one-hundred animals. Would that be beyond forgiveness?

KLEM: One hundred? 

NEWTON: One hundred. 

KLEM: Catholicism teaches us that nothing is beyond forgiveness.  

To get access to this Patreon-exclusive series as well as an ad-free version of our feed, become a supporting parishioner over at patreon.com/roguedialogue. That’s patreon.com/roguedialogue.

Are you enjoying season three? If so - follow it on your favorite podcast player. If you REALLY enjoy, it rate and review it on Podchaser or Apple Podcasts. 

That’s it for now! We’ll see you back here in two weeks for episode 9!